Hey all! I’m back! Do I have to say that every time I post a blog? LOL. Anyway, here I am. I have so many topics to write about, but tonight I’ve been pondering dating in my 40s… or almost 50. And whether or not I should go abroad to meet someone LOL or be a cougar!
Recently I dated someone 15 years my junior. And let’s say it was a lot of fun. A LOT of fun. Considering how young he was, he gave me a taste of what is was like to be with someone who #1 put in the work, #2 was quite chivalrous, #3 had great stamina (women my age need stamina, no lie).
When older women are peaking, they need someone younger who will keep up. Facts. The issue was that he needed LOTS of women to satisfy his stamina. And I figured I made it this long without an STD – who wants to risk it? So sadly, I had to let it go. Well, that is after I caught his ass out there!
Anyway, I decided it was time to be an adult and meet men my age. I started hanging out in places where men my age hang. And, I’ve met a few. Little by little I started realizing, men my age were leaving their wives and long term partners to hook up with women in their late 20s and 30s. Men my age are not interested in women my age. Well, damn, no wonder there is a shortage.
Apparently, it seems, while us older women are peaking, older men are going through an extended mid life crisis.
So, then I spoke to a couple of female friends who are meeting men abroad. Because apparently there is a shortage here. Really?!?! No shit! They go on vacation and keep going back for more.
They are meeting men. Men who adore them. Men who treat them with respect. Men who are putting in the work. Maybe, just maybe, men who are looking for “papers”. But that’s none of my business. Not my place to judge. But who wants to do that?!?! I mean long distance relationships are great in theory, not practice.
I mean I think it’s great this new generation of younger men emerging are being raised properly by their mothers (women my age) on how to treat women. Hence, why so many younger men know a lot about chivalrous behavior. They open car doors, they are making plans, they want to show you (and all their other older women) a good time. But their attention span is the equivalent of their age. 33 minutes for a 33 year old. For real. LOL.
And, then there is the generation of men in my age group who need their egos stroked. Who want arm candy on their arms.
Listen, I am a feminist. I am independent, hardworking, intelligent and pretty put together. I take great care in my appearance. I try to eat healthy and workout. (for the most part). I am funny and witty. But I am also a lady. Who was raised the to be woman who is courted and taken care of. And before any of you men reading this get your panties, or briefs, in a bunch, I don’t mean financially. I’m good. I am talking about feeling protected and cared for.
Men my age, on the other hand, are not looking to put in the work. They don’t want to deal with the feminists. Or strong independent women. They want younger, more timid, more soft spoken women who put their men on pedestals and look at them with goo-goo eyes. And that’s partly, my female friends, our fault. We have fought for so long to be looked at as equals, and they finally see us. And we don’t like it. Catch 22.
I thought by the time I got to this age, when I finally know what I want or at least what I don’t want, that I would be meeting like- minded men in the same age group. And things would get easier. But these men are always looking for greener grass.
And so I am torn. We should be torn. Do we go abroad or stick with the prenatals? Do we continue dating younger men at the risk of not keeping their attention long enough? Do we take it for what it is and enjoy the ride. I mean thinking about it, if I am 49 and date someone who is 34, at some point I will be 60 and he will be 45. I will grow old and he will age like fine wine. Cuz really women get old and men get salt and pepper like George Clooney. Some bullshit.
Or do we just wait it out. I did say that in another blog, about waiting. Just being open and waiting for the right guy to come along. Young or old for that matter.
But which is the lesser of two evils?
Abroad or prenatal?