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Remember, this too shall pass…I promise

Hi, My loves,

I hope this new blog post finds you all safe and healthy.  Oh, what a time to be alive, right?  Who would have thought?  ♥

So, recently I’ve been at my wits end trying to figure out how else to fill my time these days.  Some days I am really good at it and others not so much.  Some days I am up and at it, early, tackling every task on my list.  And other days, I just lay on couch and watch endless hours of TV, and eat, and nap.

This week was a struggle trying to think about what I wanted to write because quite frankly I am a little tired of addressing COVID19.  There are so many conflicting news reports that I am just tired. And it seems at this moment, that this is going to be the rest of our lives. Right?

The other day I decided to purge one more bin of paperwork, as if I haven’t purged enough and I found a bin full of journals and essays and writings going back about 20 years ago.   Crazy right?

I started to read through some of it and I came across something I wanted to share with you that I wrote during a pretty low time in my life.   I know am not alone when I tell you that as a teen and young adult, I struggled with depression.  It followed me into my adulthood, but it wasn’t something I really knew how to articulate.  It wasn’t something that was spoken about or even understood.  But I have spent years going to therapy on and off to deal with general life issues.  drepession1

Anyway, I was at a really low point in my life when I wrote this.  I was feeling restless as you will read after having reunited with my husband after a three-year separation.  I was confused and had this overwhelming sense of feeling like I just didn’t belong in the life I was living.

It didn’t have a title, so I am just going to share with you….

“I don’t know how I got to this – sitting in a motel that fits the perfect description of “seedy”.  Come to think of it seedy might be too good of a word considering the dingy, faded yellow brocade comforter, the veneer TV stand that reminded me of something in my mother’s house growing up, and the carpet that had the ever so slight smell of mold mixed with disinfectant.  I keep picturing an undercover operation and narcs busting through the door and me getting arrested for prostitution just because I am here.  It’s that sort of place.  But in my sadness and desperation to just get away, I just drove and drove and I ended up here. Tears in eyes, a heaviness in my chest and pen in hand.

I keep trying to retrace my steps – you know, how I ended up here, at this point in my life.  How did I end up in this place, this motel, this sadness, this drunkenness, this dark hole that is threatening to swallow me whole? 

I mean not too long ago I was living my life – the day to day mundane – going through the motions; being a wife, a mom, working and going to school.  Hosting get togethers, writing research papers, cleaning and cooking and putting on a happy face.  It was a routine that was all too familiar, so familiar, I could probably get through my days with my eyes closed.  At times complacent, at other times overwhelming, but always routine.

I knew what to expect, all day every day.  Speak when spoken to, pay bills, clean up when needed, have sex at least once a week, show the right amount of affection and reaction to not let on that I was barely awake.  When I went out in public, I smiled and showed enough interest to keep the speaker talking about what I thought was an endless list of nothing. And tried really hard not to let the sadness, the depression take over me. lizgilbert1

At night, when everything gets quiet and all I hear is the sound of the cars driving by, I lay there and think about my life and try to thank God for everything I have, my children, my loving family, my health and home, food and clothing -you know all the things I am supposed to be grateful for. 

But once in a while in the midst of all those jumbled thoughts, in those quiet seconds in between wakefulness and drifting off to sleep, I’d make a wish.  I’d wish that maybe tomorrow I’d wake up in somebody else’s shoes.  I’d wish that maybe tomorrow I couldn’t carry the burden of so many people’s happiness.  I’d wish that maybe tomorrow I wouldn’t wake up.   I’d lay there with my eyes tightly closed. 

When I went back to school, I swore it was to get an education, you know, so I could be a role model for my girls.  I sacrificed many nights with my kids, school activities, or just down time at home.  And though I loved school, I sometimes think, that I don’t know, subconsciously I used it as an escape from my everyday life.  My escape from a life that at that moment didn’t feel like it quite fit; an escape at a time that I wasn’t even sure what I was escaping.  It’s funny I never realized how our psyche knows just what we need when we need it. 

My husband and I have been back together for five years now after a brief separation.  Five years ago, it seemed the right thing to do.  Get back together and raise our kids. Yet tonight I am not so sure.  Again. Somewhere along the way the reasons I fought so hard for, to get my marriage back, became blurry, not so clear, other people’s reasons, not mine.  Making my mother and in laws happy.  My daughter’s happy.  But I feel suffocated and I feel like I am drowning.

As I sit here writing, I wonder how many other women feel this way.  Feel as if all the choices they’ve made weren’t really for themselves. Feel guilty for changing their minds, not feeling the same.  Feel as if they are living a double life? You know the type – on the outside we seem to be leading a perfect life; happily married with great kids, a beautiful home and fulfilling career. 

Sometimes I look at my married friends and wonder, “Are they as happy as they seem?”  “Is this what they envisioned for themselves when they were little?”  “Is this what they daydreamed about; being married with kids with a white picket fence?”

I think it’s funny because for a long time I thought that was a Latina thing, you know, being raised to believe that marriage was the end all be all.  But, as I expanded my circle of friends, I realized that most, if not all little girls are brought up to want the “happily ever after” back then.  It seemed that even if we achieved everything – a house, a great career, nice car – if we didn’t have a man, well there was just something wrong with us.

I mean that’s the way it was with me, even though mom raised me on her own and sent all these implicit messages about being strong and independent, she still made sure to plug in there, as often as possible, that without a man I wasn’t enough.  In not those exact words.  But you know what I mean.

Even though she did it on her own.  Immigrated to a new country, woke at the crack of dawn to commute to work, sometimes worked two jobs, and sometimes brought work home from one of those to finish.  She purchased her own home, her own car, we always had what we needed and wanted. And STILL, she kept insisting and instilling in me to be a good woman so I could get a good man.  (Insert thinking emoji here).

Why didn’t she find a man? I mean why did she choose to struggle on her own?  Struggle she did.

Here I am writing this, feeling guilty because I don’t think I want the husband or white picket fence anymore. I feel overwhelmed and scared. I feel antsy.  I know my mother only wants what’s best for me, as all mothers want for their kids.

But how could she teach me all those lessons about independence and being in control, taking care of myself, and not giving in to a man’s demands and yet make me feel that if I walk away, I won’t be enough.

And now I feel this restlessness, this agitation tugging at my insides, this  restlessnessrebellion.  I hate the fact that I don’t feel satisfied with what my mother said would be enough.  Or that I have what so many other women wish for. I mean what more can I ASK FOR?  I scream this out loud forgetting I am in this motel room.

I don’t know how I ended up in this dingy, seedy motel room, but I know that for now I need to go home, and be a wife, a mother, a caretaker. 

I don’t know how long these feelings will last or if I will just give into this oppressive heaviness in my heart.  But I do need to go home.  And tomorrow…well…who knows what will happen tomorrow.  Like God tells Liz Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, “Go to sleep, Liz.  Go to sleep.”

After reading this, I started to reflect on how back when I wrote this piece, I never thought, those feelings would pass.  I never thought life would get better.  I never thought I would feel better.  I remember feelings of complete and utter helplessness.

I eventually did get divorced even though he was a great guy.  We co parented our girls, who are adults themselves now with lives of their own.  I went to therapy.  Still go to therapy, because at times I feel that overwhelming sense of sadness, for other reasons in my life.  I was in a couple other relationships after that, built a great circle of friends, worked in a career for years.

What I learned after reading this is that all things pass.  Time is the one sure thing that is guaranteed to keep going.  And though way back then sitting in that dingy motel room, I couldn’t see past that moment, fifteen years later here I am.  Lots of questions answered, some still linger, but I am still here.  Wiser and older.

For all those of you everywhere who get “stuck”, depressed, sad, overwhelmed, remember with the right support, this too shall pass.

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Stay safe and healthy!

LolaUncorked♥

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How I’ve been entertaining myself online these days…and it’s not porn…I promise..

Hi my loves,

How are my single readers doing during this pandemic? Hopefully safe and healthy!!!

Years ago, when I went through my divorce, I did some online dating.  At that time many people were eerie about the dangers of dating online.  But I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get a visual first, then have some conversations with like-minded adults and weed out the ones you didn’t like. Simple enough. Right? Not!

I tried online dating through my single years.  After Kiss. came Match, Christian Mingle, Tinder, Bumble, to name a few.  Oh! How can we forget Zoosk?  The list is endless. There are apps for teens, the LGBTs, senior citizens, swingers, even a specific app by Ashley Madison that is solely for extramarital affairs, as if all the other ones don’t lend themselves to just that.

Recently, right at the start of the coronavirus pandemic, I decided to go online, #1 to do some research (see if these apps and experiences had improved any) and #2 for pure entertainment.

I signed up on Zoosk (someone suggested it) and POF, the infamous Plenty of Fish, which is mostly famous for the catfishers and cheaters.  But that’s a whole other blog. LOL.

I’ve been on these sights for a few weeks.  I do not pay for the extra “perks” because quite frankly I am a firm believer that if you’re going to meet someone, it’s going to happen regardless of whether you can see if they read your message or whether you can send or receive emojis.

Disclaimer: ( I love these…LOL)

You have to go into online dating purely for entertainment.  Anything more is a perk.  At least for me.  You cannot take them seriously.  (Especially during a pandemic).  That’s not to say that there aren’t some people who have success, but that’s the minority not the majority.  I have never gone on a date off these sites that was successful, if I even get the point of going on a date because typically men’s attention span is quite limited.  Just picture a child in a candy store.  Well I imagine that is what online dating site is like for men.

Anyway, so since I’ve been online, I have had three relationships, a very serious offer from someone who wants to “be my slave and obey my every command” (his words exactly) and two breakups. LOL!  All within 48 hours.

This is what happens during COVID19.  I mean in the past I would not have entertained any conversation long enough for anyone to insult me but, it’s like I said, online dating at best is entertainment.  And what the fuck else do I have to do these days??

The three relationships were all great at the beginning.  I swear.  Great, respectful conversation, consistent conversation.  Lots in common. One told me he knew I was the one and couldn’t wait for quarantine to be over.  One of them even said he had no need for the app anymore and would shut it down.   I was like, “um ok!” (Entertainment at best folks.)

But what I was really thinking was “Really?  You don’t even know if I am real.  I could be a total catfish”.  Apparently, that’s a thing still.  Catfishing people.  I don’t know why if you plan on meeting in person, you would send fake pics.  Is your personality really going to reel me in and keep me when I see you in real life and you look nothing like your pictures?

And folks it has nothing to do with being good looking because we know looks are subjective.  It has to do with looking like the pics you sent because ultimately the initial attraction is visual.  But this is only acceptable from men.  If a woman is not attracted, we are called vain and conceited.    SMH!

Anyway, I told him if you want to shut it down go right ahead.  Whatever floats your boat.  After a few days (and this was the same pattern for pretty much every man I spoke to) the texts dwindled and they started to exhibit same “ghosting” patterns as in person.  Eventually they disappeared.  Next!

Of the two relationships that were left, one of them got upset because after a few days of imaginary dating I told him I didn’t think were a match.  We had a facetime and I wasn’t attracted to him, AT ALL!  And his kitchen was super dingy and dirty (shit everywhere) and he started prepping food while we chatted and didn’t wash hands (Insert Cardi B voice: Corona virus!!! Shit is getting real!!!).

He just exhibited qualities that I didn’t like.  It was a whole vibe. He insisted that it is impossible to get a feel for someone virtually and I disagreed.  He said chemistry is not even a thing. WHAT?!?! (Of course, it is).  My responses to him dwindled and finally he proceeded to send me a very angry message both on the app and via text telling me basically that I was on the site just looking for men to stroke my ego and that I should grow up if I am looking for real love.   Hm.  So, you mean to tell me that you love me, already?

Needless to say, his message solidified what I already knew – we were definitely NOT a match.  I didn’t respond.  I mean had I sent that text to him I would have been called a crazy bitch. Next!

I had someone else literally just say “You’re fake.  Take down those fake pics.  You can’t possibly be 51.”  I was like well it doesn’t matter you’re 26, I wouldn’t date you.  Next!!

Listen I could go on and on with these stories but I’d much rather tell you what I’ve learned with online dating during these times.

  • Even during a pandemic people are looking for love.  No matter the age.  I was hit on from men ranging from 26-72.  People need human connection.
  • As a whole, we are a reckless society.  I can’t tell you how many men would chat with me over the course of 24 hours and get mad at me when I refused to meet them.  And refuse to chat anymore.  I get that’s the purpose of online dating; however we are in a period crisis.
  • Online dating should be a great vehicle to help narrow down what you want and/or don’t want in a person, online dating is still filled with more people playing games than not.  People who just want to look at pictures, send fake pictures, create a fake personality, build a bank of people you say you want to meet when in reality you probably have no intentions of doing so.

Don’t get me wrong, I think online dating can and has worked for a lot of people who end up in long term relationships.  But I would say that is not the norm.  But I also say, what else do we have to do?

So, if you’re single, go online!  Create a profile!  Talk to other adults!  Especially if you’re stuck in the house with a 20 -year-old who sleeps 19 hours out of 24 and a cat who is still not sure why you’re in the house now ALL THE TIME!

In the end, just remember online dating is like watching reality TV shows, and you’re being entertained.  One more thing you can do to keep busy during this new normal we are living.

PS: Here are some fun headings to keep you entertained. LOL!

“I am a fun and loving human being” (I would hope he’s human)

“Fun People” (Is he looking for fun people or does he have multiple personalities and considers himself more than one person?)

“I like sharp clothes and sharp cheese” (WTF!!!)

“Tired of dating scene” (But you’re on a dating app)

“I’m 27 not 41” (Young enough to be my son.)

“How much does a polar bear weigh?” (Why?)

“Watch out for Carol Baskin” (Of course someone had to throw this in there. LOL!)

Thank you for stopping by. Remember to like, comment, follow and share.

Stay healthy and safe.

LolaUncorked

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It is okay to be afraid and anxious…just don’t sit in those emotions for too long.

Hi my loves!

I hope you are all safe and healthy.  Been thinking about what I wanted to write about today. I kept telling myself I wanted to write about something light and funny in the midst of this new reality we are living.

Every time I got an idea and would start to type, my thoughts kept going back to COVID19. I finally gave up and stared at my computer screen. And sat and stared. And I literally heard a voice say, “Write about what you’re feeling because you are not alone.”

And, so I started typing.

Let me go back a bit. A few weeks ago, I was celebrating my birthday in Miami. This is about the time I started to pay a little attention to the news. In my defense, don’t have cable at home, so most of my news comes from social media, 1010 Wins, and friends.

Anyway, I remember in the airport, my best friend pulled out two surgical masks. I was like “Heck no, girl you crazy!!” And laughed as I joked around about how silly we would look. I even took a picture of us in the airplane but it was more of photo op for IG. I also have to say that I probably counted about five other travelers with masks, only one actually covering their face.

While in Miami, my girlfriend who is a nurse (God bless her soul) kept talking about the coronavirus in very serious tones. As serious as you can be while drinking right? Anyway, she kept saying that this virus scared her, that it was going to do a lot of damage.

She kept saying things like, “As of Monday, we will all be zombies.” I was like, “Ok Rick!” (Shout out to TWD fans!!!). But really, I didn’t even take her seriously because I just felt like the news kept saying this was just a different strain of the flu with no vaccine.

I was back at work on March 4 and suddenly I was being bombarded by news out of Italy and Europe and the numbers of cases and/or deaths. My ears perked up, but I can’t say I was worried yet. As is the norm for me, I was still celebrating my birthday (which is a month-long event). I was looking forward to Friday the 13th to meet up with friends at our local bar to continue the celebrations.

And this is where I think I started to feel a little rise of panic in my chest. That night, that Friday night, the bar which is typically crowded with diners, drinkers, and karaokers every week was eerily empty.

There were about 20 of us in there including the employees. Very few people were singing. I was kind of like oh, ok. What’s happening? That Sunday evening, we received the email that the school I worked in was closed until the end of the month. It felt so surreal, like what do you mean schools are closed. As I watched the news that Sunday more and more districts shut down. That was my first panic attack.

Since then I’ve been social distancing and isolated at home for 15 days with my 20 year old. Rough! Friday, I got laid off from my job and that was my second meltdown. I wanted to take a xany and sleep and wake up to find out this is all just a bad dream. As we all know it’s not.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve had three anxiety attacks, usually at night, when I start to pray for all the people I kept hearing about that are testing positive and/or very sick. Friends I was working with before the shutdown.

Initially I tried to not give into these episodes, I thought I was being ungrateful by having meltdowns and wanting to not deal with this considering I am still healthy and able to collect unemployment. But I found that when I resisted, the anxious feelings, the panic, the fear lingered. It immobilized me. It kept me on the couch, drinking wine, or napping. It kept me from wanting to pull myself together.

And then I thought, wait why can’t I just have my meltdown? Why can’t I give in to the panic and the anxiety? Why can’t I be scared at times? Why can’t I cry and scream? We are entitled to being scared, anxious, confused during these crazy times.

What we are not entitled to do is to sit in that fear or anxiety for too long. So, when I feel an attack, I cry, I get mad, I question why, why, why? And then it’s over I pray, and meditate and I give thanks for all that I have. If none of that works I medicate. And then I’m fine.

I started to think about things I could do to make my days more productive and keep those anxious feelings at bay. I had to be proactive. So, I created a schedule for myself to stay focused and productive. I make sure I exercise every day, whether it’s a short workout from IG or a walk if it’s nice out. I am meditating more. Eckhart Tolle https://eckharttolle.com/free-resources/ has a ton of free guided meditations on his page. I am also doing a 21 day meditation which I started late with Oprah and Deepak Chopra https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience.  I am journaling. I’ve been going through paperwork, drawers and closets. I am constantly cleaning and decluttering. I have magazines, books and Netflix.

Are there days that I just want to lay on the couch and do absolutely nothing? Yup! And guess what? I do it. And then I buckle back up. And get back to tackling my to do list.

It’s easy to get in a state of panic and stay there, but what good will that do? It’s easy to allow this new normal to become our permanent normal. But the reality is I am looking at this as an opportunity for transformation-physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

I am not saying I will not have any more panic attacks and that I won’t have moments of being really scared, but what I won’t allow myself is to live in that space too long. Because if we come out of this the same as we went into it, then shame on us for not taking advantage of this blessing and opportunity.

Thank you for stopping by!

LolaUncorked♥

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We are not even thinking about the economic fallout of the COVID19…

In light of the coronavirus quote pandemic unquote, I am compelled to write this quick short blog sharing my thoughts and opinions.

We as a society (myself included) love drama, epidemics, pandemics, and crisis.  We love having our anxiety challenged to new heights.  We love any reason to run to the supermarket, Costco, Target, and/or Walmart to wipe out shelves.  In moments like these, instead of hunkering down and listening to intelligent news reports we’d rather get our news from social media and IG memes.

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I had no idea what the difference was.

Sometimes I think that maybe some of us are afraid of not being able to understand the terminology issued by health care professionals or government officials, so in order not to feel dumb, we resort to IG and FB which somehow makes us feel smarter. And when we feel smarter we feel more in control!! And we all know we love control.

Listen, I am not saying that there isn’t a new strand of the flu virus that has no vaccine that is developing, but hasn’t this happened before? Many times? And we survived?

Yes because it’s unknown people who are exposed will get sick and different variables will determine the outcome.  Like many other illnesses in our history. But we don’t live in the middle ages folks!

This was a great article that both debunked the link between virus outbreaks and election years, even though us conspiracy theorists fed into that shit, me included.

BUT it also gives us some data and reliable information about the rise and decline of some of these viruses and we’re still here.

“There is no “cure” yet for COVID-19 as the claim suggests, however many patients do recover on their own. The WHO hasn’t released a recovery rate — in general or by age — at this point, but a recent situation report said that 80 percent of cases are mild or asymptomatic. It can be assumed that most, if not all, such cases have led to a recovery.”

You know a lot of people keep telling me that I am making light of it because I am not necessarily concerned with the health aspect of this virus.  I am particularly more concerned with the economic fall out of the virus.

In 2019, it was reported that 40% of Americans live one paycheck away from poverty. Two great articles below.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/half-of-americans-are-just-one-paycheck-away-from-financial-disaster-2019-05-16

https://fortune.com/2019/01/29/americans-liquid-asset-poor-propserity-nowreport/

How many Americans are living in poverty?

Current estimates on poverty in the U.S. The official poverty rate is 12.3 percent, based on the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2017 estimates. That year, an estimated 39.7 million Americans lived in poverty according to the official measure. According to supplemental poverty measure, the poverty rate was 13.9 percent.

Now these articles refer to the “average” American.  I am thinking average American is the person who works for pay, gets taxes taken out, gets sick leave and vacation (maybe) and is paying into a pension or retirement fund.  I couldn’t find a definition for the “average” American, but this is what came to mind. If you find one please do share.

My question is though, what is the reported % of average Americans?  Because I’ll tell you what I work in public education in an urban area and the percentage of average Americans is pretty low.

I work with a high population of transient, immigrant families who work for cash or under the table because many are undocumented or it’s  the only job they could get when they arrived.

These jobs include cleaning homes, busboy or server in restaurants, home repairs or working behind the counter at a grocery store.  So, tell me, if we shut down for two to three weeks to “sanitize and contain” a virus that represents itself as previous viruses have, how are these families supposed to survive and pay bills?

Is the government going to put a pause on everyday utility bills? Credit card debt? Mortgages? Student loans???

So, when I say I am not worry about CV-19 what I am saying is I am not concerned with the health aspect.  Viruses come and go. We have medicine and modern technology. We do not live in the middle ages, thank God.

As it has historically occurred with these types of viruses, they affect the frail, those with compromised immune systems, the elderly, just like the flu, pneumonia, even sometimes the common cold if left untreated.

So while some of you are bum rushing supermarkets and wiping out shelves of anything and everything in preparation for this zombie apocalypse, keep in mind that you may be one of the small percentage of “average: Americans that will actually survive and come out on the other side with your jobs, homes, and families intact.  Food for thought!

Follow this link to hear a survivor’s story.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/12/health/coronavirus-survivor-elizabeth-schneider/index.html

In the meantime, thanks for visiting!  Remember to like, comment, share your thoughts and or opinions and sign up for email notifications!

Oh! And please wash your hands!

LolaUncorked

 

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Why? Why? Why?
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Apparently, men are always going to shoot their shots…

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Hey My Loves!

Happy Friday!!!  I wanted to post this on hump day because what better day than hump day to talk about exposed penises (LOL) but it didn’t happen.  Still recuperating from my mini get-away.

But the topic has been on my mind and a topic of conversation now for the last week between me, IG followers, female and male friends and random strangers.  After posting a story about an IG stranger who supposedly, accidentally and/or didn’t mean to send me a dick shot (as he said) everyone chimed in to share their thoughts.

Let me give you some background, even though my IG has been public for some time,  recently I have been bombarded by random men hitting me up to be friends. No biggie.

Sometimes I don’t entertain these men but at other times, I guess out of boredom, I engage in conversation always with the hope that it could potentially lead to an intelligent exchange.  Why in the world would I think that? Really Lola?!?

So this guy hit me up on IG, supposedly from Europe.  Piqued my interest as I hope to travel to Europe at some point and figured I could gain some travel tips and/or useful information.  It was just friendly chatting.  And I always made sure my responses were friendly and straightforward – leaving no room misinterpretations and/or innuendos.

Of course that didn’t last long.  Too good to be true.  One day he just started expressing how sexy he thought I was,  my lips, my body blah blah, etc. etc.  In my head I already knew where this was going so I cut the convo short and stopped answering.

The next morning he greeted me and this is the conversation that ensued (almost verbatim).

Him: I woke up thinking about my sexy Lola.

Me: Ok

Him: Do you want to see what you do to me?

Me:  I do not.  Please do NOT send me naked picture.

Him:   LOL. Okay.  I wasn’t. How are you?

Me: Good thanks and you?

Him: Why not?

Me: I’ve no desire to see dick shots.

Him: Insert dick shot here.

Me: Wow.   Really smh.

Him: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to send it.

(Insert scratching chin emoji here).  He proceeded to apologize profusely while at the same time definitely was making light of it.  Annoying. Needless to say I blocked him.

But then it got me thinking.  A lot.  About dick shots.  Like what made him feel that it was ok to send it. After I specifically asked him not to.  Did he get some type of pleasure from sending it? Was I supposed to like it? Say I wanted it? Ask for more?  Like what? So I posted an IG rant and I got responses from males and females and this is blog is a product of that.

I am thinking that because penises protrude from their bodies, men just feel an uncontrollable need to just stick it out.  One friend (female) stated she didn’t really think the dick shots are for the receiver.  It’s really for the sender.  The sender could probably give two shits whether or not the receiver sees it, but the dude gets pleasure from merely unzipping his pants and setting it free. There is satisfaction to be had in the unknown reaction of the receiver.  Makes sense.

One male alluded to the fact that perhaps I invited it, maybe in my naiveté that I could have a completely, platonic, adult conversation on IG with a random stranger?!?!  Ok maybe I was being naive.  But that’s like saying that it was the victim’s fault she got raped for what she wore!! Ridiculous.

Listen I know the internet is a cesspool of looney bins and pervs but at the same time it is a part of our society and its mechanics.  People use it to stay connected to friends and family, meet people, network, sell a brand, build a business.  So is it completely ludicrous for me to think that it is possible to engage in non-lewd conversations?  Apparently.

Another interesting take is that sending penis shots is 2020’s version of street flashers. LOL! I thought that was hysterical and probably true.  Think about it unless they get caught they just go on flashing, just as I am thinking my IG flasher has quite possibly flashed many more since me and I have not been giving a second thought.

Then there is the question “Are there women out there that enjoy penis shots?”  Is it possible since women are always talking about loving the big one, wanting the huge one, that men flashing is their way of possibly getting rejected softly?

Rather than meeting in person they shoot the shot and if the female doesn’t like it, she will go away. The man can then go ahead and make up any excuse in his head as to why she disappeared and it doesn’t hurt the ego.  Unless of course she blatantly says “that’s all you got?” Ouch!

What I can tell you flashers is that most of the women that shared their thoughts with me, do NOT want random penis shots.  It’s distasteful and gross and think about it, if you have daughters, sisters, nieces or even moms, they could the one getting the random dick shot.  So a little self control goes a long way.

noteverywomanwantstoseeit
This meme was hysterical. Amazing what you find on the internet.

Perhaps I am being prudish in my old age, but for me, the shot has more impact if it’s within the context of a relationship with someone who is trying to seduce me mentally first and then physically.  A little flirting, a little mental foreplay and tasteful shots can make some serious magic happen. LOL.

And I mean in the end, like a dear friend said, men ultimately don’t want a woman, they want a vagina.  Penises want vaginas.  Sometimes they find one they want so badly, they’ll ultimately take the body attached to it, too.  polarbearpenis

So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about the penis shots.  Another attempt on the part of the man to get to the vagina without doing any of the hard work.  And I am thinking that out of 10 shots a man takes, it’s quite possible that at least 1 may stick (no pun intended) and I mean I guess if I was a guy I would take those odds, too!

That’s all I got. I am thinking we will never truly know why!

Thanks for stopping by my loves!  Thank you to all those of you who shared their thoughts with me!

Don’t forget to like, comment, share, and follow!

I linked this article because I thought it was pretty interesting. Enjoy!

https://www.mic.com/articles/186005/what-motivates-men-to-expose-themselves-to-women-without-consent

Disclaimer: As you can tell I switched up between the use of “dick” and “penis” in this post.  No reason whatsoever. I just liked the way each sounded at different points!

LolaUncorked♥