In light of the coronavirus quote pandemic unquote, I am compelled to write this quick short blog sharing my thoughts and opinions.
We as a society (myself included) love drama, epidemics, pandemics, and crisis. We love having our anxiety challenged to new heights. We love any reason to run to the supermarket, Costco, Target, and/or Walmart to wipe out shelves. In moments like these, instead of hunkering down and listening to intelligent news reports we’d rather get our news from social media and IG memes.
Sometimes I think that maybe some of us are afraid of not being able to understand the terminology issued by health care professionals or government officials, so in order not to feel dumb, we resort to IG and FB which somehow makes us feel smarter. And when we feel smarter we feel more in control!! And we all know we love control.
Listen, I am not saying that there isn’t a new strand of the flu virus that has no vaccine that is developing, but hasn’t this happened before? Many times? And we survived?
Yes because it’s unknown people who are exposed will get sick and different variables will determine the outcome. Like many other illnesses in our history. But we don’t live in the middle ages folks!
This was a great article that both debunked the link between virus outbreaks and election years, even though us conspiracy theorists fed into that shit, me included.
BUT it also gives us some data and reliable information about the rise and decline of some of these viruses and we’re still here.
“There is no “cure” yet for COVID-19 as the claim suggests, however many patients do recover on their own. The WHO hasn’t released a recovery rate — in general or by age — at this point, but a recent situation report said that 80 percent of cases are mild or asymptomatic. It can be assumed that most, if not all, such cases have led to a recovery.”
You know a lot of people keep telling me that I am making light of it because I am not necessarily concerned with the health aspect of this virus. I am particularly more concerned with the economic fall out of the virus.
In 2019, it was reported that 40% of Americans live one paycheck away from poverty. Two great articles below.
Current estimates on poverty in the U.S. The official poverty rate is 12.3 percent, based on the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2017 estimates. That year, an estimated 39.7 million Americans lived in poverty according to the official measure. According to supplemental poverty measure, the poverty rate was 13.9 percent.
Now these articles refer to the “average” American. I am thinking average American is the person who works for pay, gets taxes taken out, gets sick leave and vacation (maybe) and is paying into a pension or retirement fund. I couldn’t find a definition for the “average” American, but this is what came to mind. If you find one please do share.
My question is though, what is the reported % of average Americans? Because I’ll tell you what I work in public education in an urban area and the percentage of average Americans is pretty low.
I work with a high population of transient, immigrant families who work for cash or under the table because many are undocumented or it’s the only job they could get when they arrived.
These jobs include cleaning homes, busboy or server in restaurants, home repairs or working behind the counter at a grocery store. So, tell me, if we shut down for two to three weeks to “sanitize and contain” a virus that represents itself as previous viruses have, how are these families supposed to survive and pay bills?
Is the government going to put a pause on everyday utility bills? Credit card debt? Mortgages? Student loans???
So, when I say I am not worry about CV-19 what I am saying is I am not concerned with the health aspect. Viruses come and go. We have medicine and modern technology. We do not live in the middle ages, thank God.
As it has historically occurred with these types of viruses, they affect the frail, those with compromised immune systems, the elderly, just like the flu, pneumonia, even sometimes the common cold if left untreated.
So while some of you are bum rushing supermarkets and wiping out shelves of anything and everything in preparation for this zombie apocalypse, keep in mind that you may be one of the small percentage of “average: Americans that will actually survive and come out on the other side with your jobs, homes, and families intact. Food for thought!
Happy Friday!!! I wanted to post this on hump day because what better day than hump day to talk about exposed penises (LOL) but it didn’t happen. Still recuperating from my mini get-away.
But the topic has been on my mind and a topic of conversation now for the last week between me, IG followers, female and male friends and random strangers. After posting a story about an IG stranger who supposedly, accidentally and/or didn’t mean to send me a dick shot (as he said) everyone chimed in to share their thoughts.
Let me give you some background, even though my IG has been public for some time, recently I have been bombarded by random men hitting me up to be friends. No biggie.
Sometimes I don’t entertain these men but at other times, I guess out of boredom, I engage in conversation always with the hope that it could potentially lead to an intelligent exchange. Why in the world would I think that? Really Lola?!?
So this guy hit me up on IG, supposedly from Europe. Piqued my interest as I hope to travel to Europe at some point and figured I could gain some travel tips and/or useful information. It was just friendly chatting. And I always made sure my responses were friendly and straightforward – leaving no room misinterpretations and/or innuendos.
Of course that didn’t last long. Too good to be true. One day he just started expressing how sexy he thought I was, my lips, my body blah blah, etc. etc. In my head I already knew where this was going so I cut the convo short and stopped answering.
The next morning he greeted me and this is the conversation that ensued (almost verbatim).
Him: I woke up thinking about my sexy Lola.
Him: Do you want to see what you do to me?
Me: I do not. Please do NOT send me naked picture.
Him: LOL. Okay. I wasn’t. How are you?
Me: Good thanks and you?
Him: Why not?
Me: I’ve no desire to see dick shots.
Him: Insert dick shot here.
Me: Wow. Really smh.
Him: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to send it.
(Insert scratching chin emoji here). He proceeded to apologize profusely while at the same time definitely was making light of it. Annoying. Needless to say I blocked him.
But then it got me thinking. A lot. About dick shots. Like what made him feel that it was ok to send it. After I specifically asked him not to. Did he get some type of pleasure from sending it? Was I supposed to like it? Say I wanted it? Ask for more? Like what? So I posted an IG rant and I got responses from males and females and this is blog is a product of that.
I am thinking that because penises protrude from their bodies, men just feel an uncontrollable need to just stick it out. One friend (female) stated she didn’t really think the dick shots are for the receiver. It’s really for the sender. The sender could probably give two shits whether or not the receiver sees it, but the dude gets pleasure from merely unzipping his pants and setting it free. There is satisfaction to be had in the unknown reaction of the receiver. Makes sense.
One male alluded to the fact that perhaps I invited it, maybe in my naiveté that I could have a completely, platonic, adult conversation on IG with a random stranger?!?! Ok maybe I was being naive. But that’s like saying that it was the victim’s fault she got raped for what she wore!! Ridiculous.
Listen I know the internet is a cesspool of looney bins and pervs but at the same time it is a part of our society and its mechanics. People use it to stay connected to friends and family, meet people, network, sell a brand, build a business. So is it completely ludicrous for me to think that it is possible to engage in non-lewd conversations? Apparently.
Another interesting take is that sending penis shots is 2020’s version of street flashers. LOL! I thought that was hysterical and probably true. Think about it unless they get caught they just go on flashing, just as I am thinking my IG flasher has quite possibly flashed many more since me and I have not been giving a second thought.
Then there is the question “Are there women out there that enjoy penis shots?” Is it possible since women are always talking about loving the big one, wanting the huge one, that men flashing is their way of possibly getting rejected softly?
Rather than meeting in person they shoot the shot and if the female doesn’t like it, she will go away. The man can then go ahead and make up any excuse in his head as to why she disappeared and it doesn’t hurt the ego. Unless of course she blatantly says “that’s all you got?” Ouch!
What I can tell you flashers is that most of the women that shared their thoughts with me, do NOT want random penis shots. It’s distasteful and gross and think about it, if you have daughters, sisters, nieces or even moms, they could the one getting the random dick shot. So a little self control goes a long way.
Perhaps I am being prudish in my old age, but for me, the shot has more impact if it’s within the context of a relationship with someone who is trying to seduce me mentally first and then physically. A little flirting, a little mental foreplay and tasteful shots can make some serious magic happen. LOL.
And I mean in the end, like a dear friend said, men ultimately don’t want a woman, they want a vagina. Penises want vaginas. Sometimes they find one they want so badly, they’ll ultimately take the body attached to it, too.
So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about the penis shots. Another attempt on the part of the man to get to the vagina without doing any of the hard work. And I am thinking that out of 10 shots a man takes, it’s quite possible that at least 1 may stick (no pun intended) and I mean I guess if I was a guy I would take those odds, too!
That’s all I got. I am thinking we will never truly know why!
Thanks for stopping by my loves! Thank you to all those of you who shared their thoughts with me!
Don’t forget to like, comment, share, and follow!
I linked this article because I thought it was pretty interesting. Enjoy!
I was talking to a friend who was recently cheated on. Again.
He had begged and pleaded for her to take him back. Apologized. Sent flowers. Talked to her friends. Acknowledged that he had demons and issues and promised he would work on them.
She swallowed her pride. Put her ego aside. Recognized that everyone makes mistakes herself included and decided to make it work. She recognized that to make it work she would have to work at rebuilding the trust again. No snooping. No throwing the indiscretion in his face, every time she felt insecure.
They began to rebuild the relationship. And everything was great. Of course, this was all happening during the holidays – which is after all the most wonderful time of the year. LOL. Things were going great and they were finally talking about taking the relationship to the next level – living together.
And then one day, she caught him again. This time it was sexting. Yes. She snooped. Considering the extent and drama around the first infidelity, she did pretty good snooping just twice. Anyway, he says it was only sexting. He hadn’t seen her or hooked up with her. He was just talking “shit?” What? Huh?
But I mean isn’t sexting the same as cheating. I mean please enlighten me. And did he not have sex with her because he got caught? What was the purpose for the sexting? What is the end goal? Isn’t it to get hot and heavy and then have sex?
Let’s talk about sexting.
Sexting defined is to send (someone) sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone. (“older teens are more likely to engage in sexting than their younger counterparts”)
Read that again, “older teens?” not grown adults apparently. Hmmm.
“Sexting is actually most likely to occur within a committed relationship.”
“Now that Melissa had evidence, her husband immediately changed his tune: I don’t know why I do these things. I love you. He didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, because he’d had no physical contact with the other woman. But for Melissa, it didn’t matter whether he’d actually followed through with his graphic messages. He’d still lost her trust. She decided to file for divorce, a process she’s still going through today. Melissa said the text messages were what drove her to dissolve the marriage.”
“Sexting becomes adultery when one person in the relationship does it without consent from a partner and without concern for how he or she will feel about it. Concealing a relationship outside of the primary one means that lying and hiding are involved, and at the moment, there is very little, if any, regard for how the other person will feel about that outside relationship. The lying and secrecy associated online affairs will destroy a couple’s trust and commitment. Trust is sacred in any relationship, and once that trust is broken, it is hard to repair.”
Why do people sext? Well the internet listed many reasons. This guy told his girl that whenever she left him alone he felt lonely—- um ok. Most people feel lonely and they read a book, watch tv, go out and meet friends. Nope. Not this guy. He sexts or cheats. SMDH!!!
People sex out of boredom, loneliness, curiosity, the excitement of doing it and not getting caught, or even possibly getting caught and the drama that comes with that. A need to feel desired and wanted. And sometimes plain ‘ole “sin vergüenzeria” that’s Spanish basically for no shame in his/her game. Just don’t give a fuck!
And this is all well and good if both parties are aware of it, but when it involves lying, it takes on a whole other meaning – cheating. And of course it means different things to the parties involved. For the person that catches it, it is hurtful. For the person doing it it might mean nothing at all. Like this guy. “I was just talking BS”. “I was bored”. “It doesn’t mean anything”.
He says he wasn’t cheating, but I get to differ. Especially coming on the heels of the first incident.
So is sexting cheating? I say yes. You all can chime in. l say anything that is done without your partner’s consent or something you would not be okay with having your partner do- whether it’s just words or illicit pictures is cheating.
If you have to hide it, it’s cheating. If you have to go out of your way to put your phone on airplane mode, delete messages, give fake names to contacts, it’s cheating. Anything that you would not be okay with your partner doing is cheating. Because if a sexter was okay with their partner sexting then that’s a conversation that needs to be had and understood.
Listen everyone gets bored. Everyone gets lonely at times. Everyone loves the excitement of a new relationship. People love the thrill of sneaking around and or even getting caught. Some people LOVE THE THRILL!!!
But the question is at what expense? Is it even worth it? Is it worth the pain that is caused. The extended relationships that are broken. Having people take sides.
And if you’re looking to fill some hole in the relationship then maybe they are not the one.
Or how about this why don’t you sext with your partner? Build excitement. Keep things spicy and avoid all the fall out of a relationship ending. Over something so fucking stupid.
I don’t know, I’m just saying that before you hit send ask yourself is it worth it?
And to my friend I said if he’s dumbass enough to get caught again, do you really want him?
Thanks for stopping by loves. Don’t forget to like, comment, follow and share! Tell me your thoughts?
I hope that January wrapped up nicely for you all! Even though it did feel like the longest January ever.
I’ve been wanting to talk a little nip/tuck for some time and finally decided to sit and share my story.
Five years ago I had a terrible break up. I got dumped. Like seriously, me?!? LOL! Just kidding. Even though it was an unhealthy relationship and I knew everything that was wrong with it, I was distraught when it ended and even more distraught when I found out she was younger, not cuter, just younger and fit. SOOOO, as we do, many women, we start comparing and thinking about all the things we could have done or been to keep the man.
So I decided to get a little nip/tuck. My implants were over 15 years old and needed be replaced/lifted and figured there was no time like that time to get it done.
After some research, I chose Dr. Carlos Jimenez in DR, mostly because he is a close family friend of my sister in law, he served as a doctor for the U.S. military, and he did NOT have a huge presence, or any presence on IG unlike many that are found on social media.
After having a phone conversation, I sent him photos of myself and while consulting with Dr. Jimenez via Whatsapp, I also decided to have a little back fat removed and a little liposuction in my abdomen. See photos.
Dr. Jimenez suggested a tummy tuck, but #1 I didn’t think I needed it (exercise would have worked), #2 I didn’t want that huge scar and #3 I didn’t want to be away from home longer than I needed to be. I get very antsy and anxious when I am away from my kids for too long (even though they are grown asses!) LOL!!!
My friends suggested I make my ass bigger by adding some of the fat I removed from my back and waist to my butt, but honestly I just kept thinking that’s like adding future cellulite to work off!! LOL!!! In the end I didn’t need to because once he removed the back fat, I looked like I had snatched my waist making my butt look rounder and perkier! Winning!
As with any surgery, whether here or abroad, we should always be informed and do our research. Talk to other people who have had the same procedure. Consult with several if not many doctors. Don’t be fooled by what you see on social media. I know a few people who went to some really popular surgeons, paid exorbitant prices only to end up really disappointed with the results.
Anyway I wanted to write this blog to talk about my experience, things I regret, information I gained after the fact that would have supported my healing and just some tips and suggestions for those of you considering any type of plastic surgery.
Now you guys know I love disclaimers so here goes:
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional (clearly) and everything included in this post is based on my own personal experience. Everyone is going to have a different experience, but hopefully you may pick up a tip or two that can support you on your plastic surgery journey.
In preparation for surgery, some of the work included getting a physical and some bloodwork here, no drinking and no smoking for a month prior. I started gym a few times a week and also tried to do some clean eating.
I arrived on a Wednesday and met Dr. Jimenez on Thursday. He conducted more blood work and early Friday I was given the go ahead. At the clinic, Dr. Jimenez took his little black marker out. He again suggested the tummy tuck, I opted against it ( something I later regret, keep reading). We also decided to take out a little fat from the outside and inside of my thighs (which I love!!!)
I was prepped for surgery and taken in. I just want to say that Dr. Jimenez and his staff were so lovely and caring. And man can we just talk about anesthesia??? O M G! I love that shit. LOL.
Anyway, after the surgery, I was nicely bound in a post operative compression garment and/or “faja” and released from the clinic the next day to a recovery house.
This “faja” was really difficult to get on because I was so swollen and it was XS. It took two nurses and a wonderful girl who I became friends with (who was accompanying her friend for surgery) to get me into this chamber of torture. Terrible and painful. It did make me feel secure, like it was holding everything in place. However, my first night in the recovery house my legs swelled from mid-thigh down. A LOT!! I was really concerned and reached out to the doctor. He made me go back the next day and gave me one a size bigger.
In the recovery house, they took wonderful care of me cooking healthy meals, making natural juices (diuretics), and helping me in and out of bed. I stayed at the recovery house for a few days then went to stay with family.
Once there I immediately started my lymphatic massages. Can we talk about these massages? OMG! Hurt like hell. I definitely have a high tolerance for pain. The strangest thing about the massages, though, is that even though they hurt like HELL, there is almost a relief in the pain. If that makes sense. My masseuse was also amazing. She came to me everyday for the next 8 days. Soon it was time to fly home.
Dr. Jimenez wanted me to stay three weeks. I stayed for two. Definitely not enough. The air pressure on the airplane made me retain so much liquid. I had compression socks on and walked up and down aircraft several times but still. By the time I landed I looked like I had gained 20 lbs. Wish I had a picture.
The day after I got home, I noticed that I had a pocket of liquid in my lower abdomen. Like you could actually see the liquid moving around in the lower part of my abdomen. Definitely, did not have this in DR and I believe it was as a result of two things – the extra skin I did not remove via a tummy tuck and the fluid build up from flight home. These pockets are sometimes called “seroma”. Follow this link for some basic information on seromas.
I didn’t stress it too much and immediately started my lymphatic massages and had my best friend who is a nurse drain the fluid with a syringe daily. I did two more sessions of ten massages at different spas. But I ended up developing fibrosis after liposuction. Here’s another link to some information.
I tried waist trainers, exercises and creams to make the skin on my stomach look and feel less lumpy. I rarely wear a bikinis anymore because I am self conscious about it. The skin feels tight.
Disclaimer: I do not blame Dr. Jimenez for the results of my stomach lipo. I blame it on lack of information on my part. My back, thighs, and waist look amazing. I will definitely go back to correct hopefully. I should have gone with the tummy tuck. But we live and learn for sure.
Now let’s talk about my boobies!!! THEY are A-mazing!!! He outdid himself. Scarring is minimal. Great lift and cleavage.
In wrapping up this post here are some tips (that might work for you or not):
DO YOUR RESEARCH please. Ask tons of questions. Not only about the doctor and/or country, but also about your skin and how you heal. I come from bad skin LOL dry, little elasticity, older, so this also may have had something to do with my healing process.
When you initially have surgery I suggest a “faja” that fits comfortably until your skin and tissues start healing. My thought for this is that I was squeezed into this XS faja with all this raw healing tissue inside and my body started to take on the creases from wearing it so tight. I developed a seroma and fibrosis after my surgery.
I believe you can drink too many fluids. I know it’s recommended but I definitely feel I drank too many liquids hence I started retaining liquid.
You should not be getting laser infrared treatments initially. Why? Your skin tissue is raw and basically the laser cooks those tissues under there. Results? Hardening, lumpiness. I should have stuck to the lymphatic massages until everything was smoothed out. (This came from a surgeon I visited for a post up consult here.) And please share your thoughts about this. I’ve tried several treatments for the fibrosis to no avail. Insert sad face here.
If you’re having surgery abroad especially liposuction, plan to stay minimum 3 weeks.
If you’re not happy with your results contact your doctor as soon as possible. This is easier if you have your surgery here, but nonetheless I feel that maybe had I contacted Dr. Jimenez sooner perhaps I could have gotten it corrected. Wah! Wah!
Okay I am done. Like I said before everyone’s experience is different and you may completely disagree with what’s in this blog, BUT this was my experience. And even though I am not 100% happy with results my only regret was not having a full on tummy tuck, but again I didn’t want to stay longer. AND I kind of like my belly button! LOL!
Thanks for stopping by! Don’t forget to like, comment, follow and share!
Can you believe that January is almost over? Sheesh! Where does the time go? Anyway, just wanted to check in and see how the new year is treating you all so far. How are those intentions, or resolutions going? Did you get started? If not, what’s holding you back?
This is the first year that I finally feel like I am being a little more reasonable about the things I want to accomplish.
Typically, and you guys know how it goes; we want to do it ALL in the new year. Get up early, go to gym every day, read, meditate, meal prep, declutter, stay organized, etc, etc, etc. And of course by week 2 it’s down the drain, because quite frankly it is overwhelming. And way too much to tackle all at once.
I mean thinking on previous years and thinking of how quickly I gave up, it’s no wonder. There aren’t even enough hours in the day to do it all.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I decided to set daily intentions (rather than make resolutions) and take small bites in order to accomplish what I would like in this new year. I’ve also made it a point to be kinder to myself when I don’t come through on those intentions. Sometimes, actually, most times we are too hard on ourselves.
Like think about it, if a friend came to you bummed out because after dieting for a few weeks they haven’t lost any weight or they went out and stuffed their faces with the best pasta ever! You don’t turn around and say,
“OMG! You’re such a fat-ass! You’re never going to lose weight eating like that!”
(At least, I hope you don’t say that!! LOL). Chances are you may say something like,
“Listen it’s ok. Just start right back up again.” or “You deserved that meal, you’ve been great so far!”
Right?!? So why can’t we do the same for ourselves? Kind self-talk and forgiveness go such a long way.
So I wanted to share some tips that are helping me tackle those bigger goals for this new year without feeling defeated.
Organization – I need structure and visuals to help me so the first thing I did was purchase a really cool dry erase wall calendar (from Burlington Coat Factory for a mere $14.99). It sits on the first wall that I see on the way to the bathroom in the morning. I also added a small dry erase board next to it. The calendar is a snapshot of my month. I write everything there, when I go to gym, work schedule, appointments, birthdays.
On the dry erase board, I write three things I am grateful for each day and a daily mantra or intention. I get to see those several times as I walk back and forth and get ready in the morning. I also picked up a cute planner by Create & Cultivate (from Target) in which I can jot down my To Dos List, my mantra (again), see my month and week at a glance, create vision boards, etc. I found that I had too many tools and wasn’t using any of them. For some people technology works best so they use their phones, I need pencil and paper.
In the self care department its as simple as applying a facial mask a week and sitting in silence while I wait rather than trying to clean the kitchen or bathroom. I mean the cleaning defeats the self care, right? So pick up some facial mask sheets (so easy) and set a day of the week for when you’re going to do it (on your wall calendar or in agenda). Self care also includes going for a mani and/or pedi, taking a nap once a week, going to therapy. Pick one and and stick to it!
For my fitness goals I am committing to doing something physical for at least 30 minutes a day to begin. That could be the gym, yoga, or some sort of a fitness challenge (there are tons on Pinterest that can be printed and posted where you will see first thing in the morning.)
Finally, I chose one HUGE goal for myself in 2020-2021. I want to get my yoga certification. I’ve been toying with yoga for a while now and I would love to teach it. The challenge is that the yoga certification program here in the US is long and requires a huge time commitment. Because I know myself and how easily distracted I am my plan is to go complete the certification abroad somewhere. Some of the programs I am looking at are in Tulum, Costa Rica and Bali. The program itself is less expensive than here, but I do have to incur the cost of housing while there, but for as little as two weeks! Winning. In preparation for that I have committed to starting with minimum of two classes a week and and reading a related book a month (currently reading Living Your Yoga by Judith Hanson Lasater) . Definitely manageable, more than trying to get to hot yoga 5 – 6 times week, like I’ve tried in the past.
Most importantly, you can have a huge vision for 2020, just tackle it one week at a time.
And that’s it for now. It’s what I feel is manageable for ME. It could be that you may be able to take on more or less at the beginning of the year. And that’s fine. For me, I rather start small and build up as the year progresses and as my level of commitment increases. Rather than start big and then drop everything because I just can’t keep up.
And well, when I stumble and fall, I dust myself off and start anew, because in the end it’s not quantity that counts it’s actually quality. So if I can do a 30 minute yoga session at home, in which I am totally present, instead of a 90 minute hot yoga session in a studio that is so hot I can’t think of anything but it being over, then the 30 minute it is.
Well, my loves I hope this helps and I hope as we wrap up January, you continue to stay strong, adjust and readjust if needed and keep getting back up on that wagon!
Thanks for stopping by! Remember to like, comment (my fave), and share!!!
THIS IS US… a colorful, collaborative, collection of truth-tellers, soul-sharers, magic makers and game shakers. All that have a unique story to tell, angle to take and position they stand strongly behind.
THIS IS US… a colorful, collaborative, collection of truth-tellers, soul-sharers, magic makers and game shakers. All that have a unique story to tell, angle to take and position they stand strongly behind.