Hi my loves,
How are my single readers doing during this pandemic? Hopefully safe and healthy!!!
Years ago, when I went through my divorce, I did some online dating. At that time many people were eerie about the dangers of dating online. But I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get a visual first, then have some conversations with like-minded adults and weed out the ones you didn’t like. Simple enough. Right? Not!
I tried online dating through my single years. After Kiss. came Match, Christian Mingle, Tinder, Bumble, to name a few. Oh! How can we forget Zoosk? The list is endless. There are apps for teens, the LGBTs, senior citizens, swingers, even a specific app by Ashley Madison that is solely for extramarital affairs, as if all the other ones don’t lend themselves to just that.
Recently, right at the start of the coronavirus pandemic, I decided to go online, #1 to do some research (see if these apps and experiences had improved any) and #2 for pure entertainment.
I signed up on Zoosk (someone suggested it) and POF, the infamous Plenty of Fish, which is mostly famous for the catfishers and cheaters. But that’s a whole other blog. LOL.
I’ve been on these sights for a few weeks. I do not pay for the extra “perks” because quite frankly I am a firm believer that if you’re going to meet someone, it’s going to happen regardless of whether you can see if they read your message or whether you can send or receive emojis.
Disclaimer: ( I love these…LOL)
You have to go into online dating purely for entertainment. Anything more is a perk. At least for me. You cannot take them seriously. (Especially during a pandemic). That’s not to say that there aren’t some people who have success, but that’s the minority not the majority. I have never gone on a date off these sites that was successful, if I even get the point of going on a date because typically men’s attention span is quite limited. Just picture a child in a candy store. Well I imagine that is what online dating site is like for men.
Anyway, so since I’ve been online, I have had three relationships, a very serious offer from someone who wants to “be my slave and obey my every command” (his words exactly) and two breakups. LOL! All within 48 hours.
This is what happens during COVID19. I mean in the past I would not have entertained any conversation long enough for anyone to insult me but, it’s like I said, online dating at best is entertainment. And what the fuck else do I have to do these days??
The three relationships were all great at the beginning. I swear. Great, respectful conversation, consistent conversation. Lots in common. One told me he knew I was the one and couldn’t wait for quarantine to be over. One of them even said he had no need for the app anymore and would shut it down. I was like, “um ok!” (Entertainment at best folks.)
But what I was really thinking was “Really? You don’t even know if I am real. I could be a total catfish”. Apparently, that’s a thing still. Catfishing people. I don’t know why if you plan on meeting in person, you would send fake pics. Is your personality really going to reel me in and keep me when I see you in real life and you look nothing like your pictures?
And folks it has nothing to do with being good looking because we know looks are subjective. It has to do with looking like the pics you sent because ultimately the initial attraction is visual. But this is only acceptable from men. If a woman is not attracted, we are called vain and conceited. SMH!
Anyway, I told him if you want to shut it down go right ahead. Whatever floats your boat. After a few days (and this was the same pattern for pretty much every man I spoke to) the texts dwindled and they started to exhibit same “ghosting” patterns as in person. Eventually they disappeared. Next!
Of the two relationships that were left, one of them got upset because after a few days of imaginary dating I told him I didn’t think were a match. We had a facetime and I wasn’t attracted to him, AT ALL! And his kitchen was super dingy and dirty (shit everywhere) and he started prepping food while we chatted and didn’t wash hands (Insert Cardi B voice: Corona virus!!! Shit is getting real!!!).
He just exhibited qualities that I didn’t like. It was a whole vibe. He insisted that it is impossible to get a feel for someone virtually and I disagreed. He said chemistry is not even a thing. WHAT?!?! (Of course, it is). My responses to him dwindled and finally he proceeded to send me a very angry message both on the app and via text telling me basically that I was on the site just looking for men to stroke my ego and that I should grow up if I am looking for real love. Hm. So, you mean to tell me that you love me, already?
Needless to say, his message solidified what I already knew – we were definitely NOT a match. I didn’t respond. I mean had I sent that text to him I would have been called a crazy bitch. Next!
I had someone else literally just say “You’re fake. Take down those fake pics. You can’t possibly be 51.” I was like well it doesn’t matter you’re 26, I wouldn’t date you. Next!!
Listen I could go on and on with these stories but I’d much rather tell you what I’ve learned with online dating during these times.
- It hasn’t changed much as far how people navigate the sites. There has been an increase in usage according to an article published by CNBC https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/24/how-singles-are-meeting-up-on-dating-apps-during-the-coronavirus.html but that would be consistent with current times we are living in.
- Even during a pandemic people are looking for love. No matter the age. I was hit on from men ranging from 26-72. People need human connection.
- As a whole, we are a reckless society. I can’t tell you how many men would chat with me over the course of 24 hours and get mad at me when I refused to meet them. And refuse to chat anymore. I get that’s the purpose of online dating; however we are in a period crisis.
- Online dating should be a great vehicle to help narrow down what you want and/or don’t want in a person, online dating is still filled with more people playing games than not. People who just want to look at pictures, send fake pictures, create a fake personality, build a bank of people you say you want to meet when in reality you probably have no intentions of doing so.
Don’t get me wrong, I think online dating can and has worked for a lot of people who end up in long term relationships. But I would say that is not the norm. But I also say, what else do we have to do?
So, if you’re single, go online! Create a profile! Talk to other adults! Especially if you’re stuck in the house with a 20 -year-old who sleeps 19 hours out of 24 and a cat who is still not sure why you’re in the house now ALL THE TIME!
In the end, just remember online dating is like watching reality TV shows, and you’re being entertained. One more thing you can do to keep busy during this new normal we are living.
PS: Here are some fun headings to keep you entertained. LOL!
“I am a fun and loving human being” (I would hope he’s human)
“Fun People” (Is he looking for fun people or does he have multiple personalities and considers himself more than one person?)
“I like sharp clothes and sharp cheese” (WTF!!!)
“Tired of dating scene” (But you’re on a dating app)
“I’m 27 not 41” (Young enough to be my son.)
“How much does a polar bear weigh?” (Why?)
“Watch out for Carol Baskin” (Of course someone had to throw this in there. LOL!)
Thank you for stopping by. Remember to like, comment, follow and share.
Stay healthy and safe.