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We have the power to create a positive life…

Hi, My Loves ∼

Happy Wednesday!

I’ve been wanting to jump on here to talk about a great conversation I had this weekend about positive energy and visualization and law of attraction and all those buzz words about creating a better life.

I read a lot of personal growth books and listen to so many podcasts.  Recently, I’ve been listening to Eckhart Tolle and Oprah dissect A New Earth chapter by chapter.  For those of you who are familiar with A New Earth, it’s exactly about that- creating a new spiritual earth through our thoughts and actions. But more importantly this idea of letting go of the ego and staying in the present.

Anyway, I was asked this weekend if I really believed in this idea of being positive and 300848-Once-You-Replace-Negative-Thoughts-With-Positive-Ones-You-ll-Start-Having-Positive-Resultscreating positive energy. and law of attraction.  And how all that works out for me in my life.

The first thing that I want to say and said this weekend is that any type of spiritual practice requires daily and intentional focus in order for it create change.  We are human beings and we are prone to falling off the wagon- often.  Many times we give up and we say that’s it, but really what we should be doing is resetting and hopping back on the wagon.

At the beginning of this year I made a commitment to keep getting back on the spiritual wagon no matter how many times I fell off or how long I stayed off.

And this is what I’ve noticed.

Typically the beginning of the year is always a hard time for me financially.  It’s after the holidays, a time I overspent.  Sometimes I am backed up in my bills so I am playing a lot of catch up until income tax time.  Then income tax refund comes and I can’t really enjoy the refund because I am still playing catch up.  I spend a lot of the new year stressed out and worried about money.

This year has been a very different experience.  I’ve been blessed and abundant in so many ways and I know it has a lot to do with staying positive and letting go of the things I can not control.

  1. Stress is useless.  Really.  Stress is created when we worry about the things we can NOT control. The past nor the future. Listen I am not saying you shouldn’t give a crap if your past due on bills or making ends meet.  Try this exercise the next time you open a bill that you are like “Shit, I can’t pay this.”
    • Sit looking at the bill.  You can’t pay it right? So then what?  Does stress help you pay it? Probably not.  Does money appear from anywhere the longer you look at it?  No.  If you go to bed crying, can you pay it? No.

   What if you shifted your focus from the bill to what you already have –  your                     health, your cute little grandson, a job, etc.?  How does that feel the moment you            start being grateful for what you have?  There should be a shift in your energy                  because now you are focused on what is, not what could have been or will be                    because at the end of the day we have no control over those things.

2. Second is that the only person that can control my mood is me.  How often have you heard someone say “Ugh, he just totally pissed me off.”  Why?  The reason you’re still pissed off over someone’s actions is because you can’t control it.  And the reality is who cares?  I mean, why do we give people so much power over our emotions?

Let it Go.
Let. It. Go.

One of my favorite quotes is “People do the best they can with what they know.”  When I have an interaction with someone that has the potential of putting me in a bad mood, I repeat that quote over and over again until it doesn’t even matter anymore.  Does this make sense?  I hope so.

3. Lastly, I am the only person that can set the tone for my day.  If I say  I am going to have a great day, I pretty much always do by just making that statement.  Really, it’s true.  Because once I make that statement I pretty subconsciously take steps to make it happen.  I dress nicer.  I might put on a bright lipstick.  I play happy music on the way to work.  I post positive quotes on my social media.  I greet people with a smile, kind word and make eye contact. I mean I could go and on.

So going a back to my conversation this weekend, yes I believe that we create our own positive energy and that we can attract it.  Our minds are so much more powerful than we think.

I believe that if we staying the present moment and focusing on what is right here right now, we change the shift in our attitudes and moods.  Take every opportunity you can to give thank, for every little thing good or bad in your life. Because it all matters and serves a purpose.

Most importantly, remember it’s not how many times you start or try, it’s that you keep on that counts. Inspirational-Quotes-About-Being-Positive-And-Being-Negative

So with that all said, I challenge you today and for the rest of the week to get up each day, regardless of how terrible things may seem (because that’s an illusion) and commit to having a great day and being positive and grateful.  Then come in a week and tell me how it went.

See you soon!

LolaUncorked♥

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Oh! The good ole’ ‘toto’ powder…

Warning: This conversation occurred in a bar, while drinking, with two of the funniest people I know.

To my Latino friends and possibly other cultures out there (please share if so) how many of your moms, grandmas, aunts and maybe yourself use/d powder in the “crotch” area?  Like seriously, no judgement here. I promise.

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No! Don’t do it! LOL

I am cracking up just trying to get it out.

Anyway, I remember visiting my aunts’ houses and my mom’s best friend’s house and finding this Maja Powder and Puff – always in one of two places – on top of the toilet tank or in the bedroom on a cute mirrored tray.

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I know you’ve seen the famous Maja Myrurgia Powder Puff in the bathroom!

These ladies used powder puffs on their coochies!  I wonder how many people knew that when they went in there and sneaked a powder puff refresher to the face. LOL!

I know as a kid, I probably did it once or twice, before I knew what it was really for.  The “toto” powder (toto = coochie in Spanish).

 

Anyway, the bigger question is “Why?”

Was soap and water not enough?

And let’s talk about the  sexual implications.  You know where this is going right?

Like I am going to get a little graphic here, but I am thinking about bae performing cunninglingus and coming up with a white beard! WTH?!?!?

Whose idea was this? Clearly, it was before the time when doctors figured out that our GGV-social-media-quotes-04vaginas ONLY need soap and water. If your coochie needs scented powder you may not be doing that great a job when bathing. My grandmother and ancestors were killing their PH balance with the “toto” powder.

I am also wondering- Were Dominicans the only one practicing this bizarre daily, sometimes several times a day, hygiene routine?  First shower, deodorant, a puff to the toto and then the face, OR vice versa.  I can’t.

I am thinking of like lint balls down there once the powder mixed with the natural juices.   And then when it dries up does it itch.  LMFAO!

I can’t.  This is it.  I have nothing else on this one.  I wanted to just write a little funny blog to lighten your midweek.

Happy hump day! But by all means if you’re still practicing and puffing your coochie with powder – STOP NOW! Please.

Thanks lovelies for stopping by.  Don’t forget to like, comment, share and sign up for email notifications so you don’t miss these endless streams of consciousness of mine.

LolaUncorked♥

*This one is for you Brown Squirrel! LOL!

PS/ I mean clearly my ancestors did the best they could with what they knew.  Today we have so much  access to information.  Some accurate, some not so, but go ahead and do your own research on the perils of using talcum on our vaginas as well as vaginal health and hygiene.   This one below was an interesting read, go check it out- it doesn’t seem to solidify that the use of powder is directly related to ovarian cancer, but there are room good arguments.

www./health.com/mind-body/can-using-baby-powder-down-there-really-cause-cancer

 

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Welcome Spring -Decluttering your home, body, and soul.

Hello My Loves∼ Can we talk about Mother Nature?!?!  It’s about time this weather started clearing up.  There is just something about the Spring that evokes feelings of rebirth, cleansing, and renewal.  It’s in that spirit that I decided to do a little spring cleaning of my home, body, and soul.

Of course I have tried to come up with some simple and inexpensive ways to do this because Spring also comes on the heels of winter (HOLIDAYS) and we know we are all a little financially challenged around this time. LOL!!!

I’m just going to share some of the things I’ve done so far for my home, body and soul for zero to little dollars to start that cleansing process.  I also feel that after the whole “new year, new me” shenanigans, this is probably around the time that people have hit a plateau or fallen off the wagon so this is a great way to reenergize and start over!

Home:

  1. A fresh coat of paint goes a long way.  I focused on my living room first since that’s the entry point.  What a difference it was to go from a stone color to a very pale gray.  I hunt for “oops” paint from Home Depot, so I was able to pick up two one-gallon cans for $9.00 each.  I did pay someone to paint.  However, painting is super therapeutic and a great weekend project if you want to do it yourself.
  2. Throw stuff out!  If you haven’t used it in the last 6 months (I know some people say a year), but really just donate it.  Declutter your closets and your drawers.  Throw out all those single pairs of socks – they are NEVER coming back from laundry hell!
  3. Purchase new linens for your bathroom and bedroom, new sheets, towels, shower curtain make small differences and brighten things up a bit.  If your towels are still good try to incorporate a second color – for example, my old towels were shades of gray, so I went and picked up a couple of white and blush pink towels on sale at Target.  I took my old towels and recycled them to clean up, mop, and for car.
  4. I had a lot of dark bronze home decor, towel rack, three tiered shelf in bathroom, small mirror to name a few.  Instead of chucking them I picked spray painted them a brushed gold and they look like completely new pieces.
  5. Go through your kitchen cabinets and linen closet.  Check for expiration dates, old sunscreen, those hotel samples and throw them out!

These are some simple things you can do to start the decluttering process in preparation for Spring which leads to Summer.  And I know sometimes it is so overwhelming.  If you’re anything like me I want to do it all at once, but I didn’t want to clutter my mind more, right?

So I made a list of all the things I want to do at home and I tackle large projects on the weekend and smaller ones during the week.  My bathroom is done.  Check it out!!  I love it and it probably cost me less than $75 bucks to revamp.  (I’ll blog about it later!)

I’ve done things in the rest of apartment but haven’t finished yet, tackling my room this weekend, then kitchen, and lastly my living room.!  It is such a great feeling walking into my brighter, cleaner more springier space!

OH! One more simple thing you can do at home – REARRANGE furniture.  You’d be surprised I switched a couple pieces up and all of a sudden I see the whole space in a new light!

The Body

Now let’s talk about decluttering your body, literally! LOL

Listen we are on the heels of the holidays, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s day.  And for me, also my 50th!  So the eating has been the worst.  So I decided to go on keto not too long ago, just to try and curb the carb and sugar cravings.

Of course I am not promoting Keto, but I am suggesting a change in diet as part of your physical spring cleaning….Try a one week detox or an egg fast (this is the big thing now).  Anything to get your body UN-stuck. Liquid cleanses are hard, but are great for cleansing those intestines and getting your digestive system moving.  The beginning of these are always challenging as your body goes through withdrawal making you feel sluggish, but the benefits at the end are great.

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Grabbed this at Kiehl’s. Great starter kit for $68.  The eye cream is everything!!

Other little things you can do are more self care, face sheet masks, hot baths with Epsom salt help to shed water, and body scrubs for some of those dead skin cells.  I’ve recently purchased some new products from Kiehls because I want to try some new face products  as it seems my previous ones wern’t giving me the results I wanted anymore.  Shampoos and conditioners are always a great place to start as well.

Once your home is decluttered, you need a happy invigorated body to enjoy it!!

The Soul

This is my favorite of course, because in order to enjoy all of the above, you have to get your soul right.  I find this especially important at this time of year.  It’s like coming out of hibernation after a long winter’s sleep.  I always have a variety of ways to do this.

The first thing I am doing is revamping my vision board.   See what has shifted in my life, what needs more focus, what I’ve checked off, how I’ve grown.  You can do this as a quiet Sunday project, get your materials, light some candles, meditate, reflect and visualize!  Or you can have a vision board party and bring that collective energy into the room!

Secondly, I’ve also committed to journaling more frequently, right after I meditate for a few minutes in the morning.  Many of us struggle with meditation.  I did for a long time, until I heard Eckart Tolle say that all meditating is, is paying attention to the breath.

One conscious breath in and out is a meditation.

Eckhart Tolle

When we pay attention to the breath we bring ourselves back to the present and when you’re in the present everything changes.  Try a guided meditation app if that helps.  I have an Alexa at home so in the morning and evening I ask it to play a guided meditation for me. It’s a great way to start and end my day.

I’ve found all those cute canvas prints about love, positivity and spiritually and I placed them strategically in my home where I see them on a regular – in my bathroom wall opposite my mirror, right on my nightstand, in the kitchen next to the coffee area.  These are just great reminders and act as daily affirmations to set up your day for success!

Lastly, pray.  I know, I know.  If anyone knows me I am not necessarily a religious person so this may come as a shock.  But honestly I pray all day long.  I give thanks, I express gratitude, I send blessings to everyone I meet, and I pray every single night.  Prayer is grounding and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve finally stopped questioning the Universe and God.  Because they always deliver.

Spring is a time for renewal and rebirth – I hope some of these tips help and hopefully you can share some I didn’t mention with me.

Happy Spring cleaning!  Thanks for stopping by.

LolaUncorked♥

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50 Things I Want To Do In My 50s

old-ageHi, My Loves∼

So as you all know I am turning 50 in about a week.  That’s a big one. It actually seems surreal.

You know how people often say, “Oh you don’t look like you’re 30, 40 or 50!” Like what exactly does any age look like? I am not sure what 50 should look or feel like.  I guess it feels exactly how I feel right now.

And I feel pretty awesome.  In a great place.  I love my job.  I have an amazing family.  A nice circle of friends.  I have health most importantly, but I feel like, and maybe some of you guy feel same- I feel like there are so many things I haven’t done. So I have compiled a list of things I want to do this year, experiences I want to have, places I want to go.

I’ve been really thinking about things I’ve always wanted to do and have not done yet. So in commemoration of my blogs one year anniversary – here is my list of  50 things I want to do in my 50s. (And these are not in any particular order of importance.)

  1. Do more yoga. Like aside from the physical I would like to know yoga with my yogaspirit.
  2. Go to Maine and eat lobster.
  3. Move to a nicer, bigger place. Maybe even become a homeowner.
  4. Skydive, though I don’t know if I’ll actually do it.
  5. Go to Europe, I’ve never been.
  6. Blog more.  At least once a week. Really grow my blog and hopefully do some influencing.
  7. Write. Start writing that book. About what? I’m not sure yet.
  8. Probably take some writing lessons in order to write that book.
  9. Run a marathon.
  10. Sell at least 5 homes this year.
  11. Go visit Graceland. I am a huge Elvis fan.
  12. Become debt free.
  13. Go on a family vacation with my girls and grandkids – something as simple as the shore.
  14. Volunteer more.
  15. Take a road trip cross country.
  16. Meditate more.
  17. Create a meditating space at home.
  18. Find a Buddhist temple near me and engage in some learning.
  19. Read more books- hard copies!
  20. Spend more time with my mom. Create some kind of a tradition/ritual with her.
  21. Journal EVERYDAY.
  22. Write a letter to Oprah. Don’t ask. Hopefully get a response.

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    Self-care is most important in my 50s.
  23. More self-care things like monthly massages and/or facials.
  24. Grow my hair and possibly let it gray naturally.
  25. Declutter. Really live minimally.
  26. See my dad more often.
  27. Learn some basic photography.
  28. Start a Vlog
  29. Send birthday cards to people instead of a social media post.
  30. Work out at least 5 times a week
  31. Move away from Facebook.
  32. Speak more Spanish to my grandbabies.
  33. Maybe learn another language – I love Portuguese, BUT I know some Italian, sooo maybe.
  34. Apply to be on a game show – I’ve done this several times (never made it) – the freaking application for Wheel of Fortune is insane.
  35. Play in the rain/mud.
  36. Spend more time down the shore
  37. Live a healthier lifestyle overall
  38. Learn how to swim finally!
  39. Quit drinking alcohol.
  40. Go parasailing.
  41. Take tango lessons.
  42. Create a daily practice of journaling, meditating, exercising, and eating healthy.
  43. Be kinder to people – smile more (guilty of RBF). LOL!
  44. Build my family tree (I did my DNA and it was sooo interesting).
  45. Go ziplining again – IT was amazing.
  46. Visit an ashram.
  47. Visit more bookstores.
  48. Celebrate NYE on an island somewhere.

Isn’t this list amazing?  Now listen, clearly I can’t do all of this in ONE year, but you best believe I am starting.

I will reflect on this list throughout this year and make sure I am making moves to check off these 50 items off my bucket list in my 50s.

What’s on your list of things to do?  You don’t have to wait until your 30, 40 or 50 to start your list and to start checking off those things that stir your soul.

Life is so short and in my almost 50 years, I’ve seen how quickly a life is snuffed out whether to disease or accident.  I have been blessed thus far and I’ve done a lot, but there is more I want to do and plan to do!

Someone I knew once said, “Don’t wait for another day or another hour or another time.  Go and Do It. Now” – Kyrzayda –

So just watch me guys!  Here’s to 50!

Happy birthday to me!

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Cheers to me!

Thanks for stopping by and reading.  Make sure to like, comment, share and follow!

LolaUncorked♥

 

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Be Careful What You Wish For

Hi, My Loves ∼ So apparently, sometimes you really do have to be careful what you wish for. It’s like people who want to be in a relationship and then get it and then it’s like ugh!? But why?

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Or you want a baby and then you get one and it’s like “WTF was I thinking? This is a lot of work”.

Or a “dream” job that turns out to be a complete nightmare because of an asshole boss.
Listen, I am not saying you shouldn’t wish or desire things, just be careful and be sure that YOU really want what you’re wishing for.  Make sure it isn’t for stupid reasons like all your friends are in relationships, or everyone is having a baby, or look at that influencer’s life seems great and easy, when in reality that’s just social media.  You get my point right?

Anyway, a friend of a friend of a friend shared a story about a couple. I’m going to change names (actually this happened so long ago, I really don’t remember the participants’ names, so I’ll make them up). Her name is Maria and his name is John. Simple.

DISCLAIMER: This is a friend of a friend of a friend, and I heard this story last summer and jotted it down as a possible blog but other blogs came before. With that said, some of it may be embellished or made up from memory but you guys will get it. The story itself is not the point though.

Anyway, John and Maria have been married for a while, have kids, go to work, have friends and family, vacations, etc.

Maria was feeling a little bored with the relationship.  You know the usual humdrum that happens when the passion fades and people have to grow up and adult as a couple. Handle a home, bills, work, etc.

Maria broached the conversation with John a few times. They tried to figure out different ways to spice things up. She was sure John must be suffering the same ailment. From what I gathered I don’t think he was at this point, but her proposition must have sparked something in him.

She proposed that they try a sort of open relationship, they could both see/sleep with others, the only rule being they didn’t let it intrude in their home and family life. So don’t be seen out in public with the other person, set boundaries for communicating, use protection.

Well, John was completely offended and taken off guard and was like “ABSOLUTELY, NO WAY, NO HOW!” They had a couple more conversations trying to negotiate, but John was not for it.

Instead what John did some time later was that he took it upon himself and embarked on an affair and he got caught. And she was NOT happy about it. At all! Threatened separation, divorce, etc.

Now, now!! You all are thinking well she wanted them to see others, right? At least it’s what ran through my mind. Why is she so upset? I also wondered why did he go and cheat when the when the idea of an open relationship was so off the table for him?

Well, I have my thoughts. Selfishness and ego. Men are selfish creatures. Men also have HUGE egos. I am thinking that when Maria approached him with the idea of an open relationship, his initial thoughts went something like:

“Why? Am I not enough?”
“What’s wrong with me” “Why do you need another man?”
“Am I not good enough in bed?

(And I could be wrong, as I am not a man-so men correct me please.)

Anyway, Maria was so offended, mortified, hurt, broken. She demanded that they go to therapy to rebuild the trust and relationship.

Wait, wait, wait, but wasn’t it Maria who approached John with the idea initially? Why was she now so indignant and repulsed by what John did when this was what she wanted?

Just playing devil’s advocate here.devil

As a woman, I completely KNOW why she was so upset.

He didn’t agree to it initially. He was adamant about not wanting to share. His love for her was so great, according to him, that he was afraid an open relationship would open them up to issues of mistrust.

But then he went and cheated.

What are your thoughts? Is Maria right in her reaction? What about John? Why do you guys think he cheated when he was so against the idea of an open relationship?

How about this question: Is monogamy sensible? Reasonable? Attainable? Well we know it’s attainable but can anyone be monogamous for years and years and years and still feel passion and excitement for their partner?

I have many thoughts about monogamy we can talk about in another post, but I will say this like most things in life relationships take work, daily, consistent, present work. And couples need to understand that needs change, during your 20s, your 30s and so on.

To believe that what satisfied you in your 20s, could satisfy you in your 30s or 40s is simple minded. Now is this to say you should cheat? That is not what I am saying.

I think every relationship is unique and different and can only be negotiated and or navigated by the people involved. With that said couples at the very least need to engage in conversations about their needs and wants and expectations on a consistent basis.

Can we maybe step back and think what might have happened instead, had John been willing and open to renegotiate the marriage? Maybe not an open relationship but perhaps giving Maria an alternative. Rather than shutting down to the idea completely and shutting down the conversation.

I don’t know what happened to John and Maria, but what happened got me thinking. It got me thinking about relationships, how to sustain them, and stay in passion. healthy relationship

But all that aside, be careful what you wish for, because the very thing you want can be the thing that bites you in the butt!

Thanks for stopping by!

LolaUncorked♥