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You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy books…

There is something magical about finding a quaint little bookstore in the middle of the hustle and bustle of a city.  A place you can slip into and escape the outside noise.  That’s not exactly what happened to me, but close enough.  I found this treasure on a quiet side street in Montclair (NJ).

If any of you know Montclair, have visited, worked, or lived in Montclair (or still do) you know that Montclair is known for its chic little boutiques, bougie international eateries, yoga studios and cozy cafes.  It’s a mini NYC right in our very own backyard.   https://www.montclairnjusa.org/

We weren’t looking for a bookstore.  We meaning myself, my photographer, Geraldine and her assistant.  We were just looking for a location to shoot some photos for my blog when we happened upon the Watchung Booksellers, a cute bookstore near the train station.   https://www.watchungbooksellers.com/.   

I literally felt like Dorothy arriving in Oz or Cinderella at the ball.  Watchung Booksellers has got to be the cutest little gem I’ve come across in a long time.  It was like a three scoop sundae with all the toppings! Want to know what the cherry on top was? Well, even if you don’t I will tell you anyway.   

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Look at that smile….books stores feel like home to me…

As I walked in absorbing the wooden shelves, rows of books and cozy reading areas, I turned to my left and to my wandering eyes what should I see?

A little cafe – Da Pepo.  Complete with chalkboard announcing “Wait to be seated”, wine glasses for BYOB, farm-style grey washed tables where you could partake of paninis and things. 

I wanted to squeal like a kid on Christmas morning!  We immediately took over the cafe, after ordering three coffees and asking for permission to shoot some photos, of course.

We were having a ton of fun and just loved the space, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the bookstore next door.  I had peeped a wooden stepladder through the connecting doorway and I really, really, really wanted some photos on it!  I kept thinking Carrie Bradshaw with my cute french beret.

I finally asked an employee if we could take photos.  I explained that I am a blogger who blogs about a little bit of everything and I loved their space and really wanted pictures.  She referred me to a younger girl who I guess is in charge of social media.  She asked about my blog, agreed to the photos and asked that I tag her so they can follow me. Oh! She also asked for my blog site so they could follow it! Winning!  

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Books, books, and more books!

Look I know we have bookstores like Barnes and Noble and they serve their purpose, but it’s so big and bright and formal.  This book store was small and quaint and familiar.

Now let me back up a second.  I wasn’t planning on writing about this bookshop – it really was just a prop.  But something stirred in me as I walked around, posed, touched and smelled books.  A long hidden memory was tickling the edges of my mind.

And then I suddenly remembered a bookstore I used to frequent  (no let me rephrase that – nearly lived in ) back in Passaic where I grew up.  I can’t remember but I believe it was just called the Passaic Bookstore.  It was located at the end of Main street.  I remember spending hours a day several times a day after school in there as a depressed and angry teen.  LOL!

I would get lost picking up books, touching them, browsing, reading the first few pages trying to decide if it was worth the 75 cents it cost (clearance shelf).  And there was so much clutter!!!  Heavenly clutter! Every wall was lined with books, aisles had baskets filled with books and little tables piled high with more,  nooks and crannies where you could hide and get lost in.  

I remembered  that when I was no more than 15 or 16, I told myself I wanted to own a little bookstore when I grew up.  

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Cozy cafe attached to the bookstore…Da Pepo…Go check them out…they literally had a soft opening the day before the shoot..

I wanted something that felt like someone’s living room with dark wooden shelves, comfy plush seats, the smell of coffee brewing in the background mingled with the smell of old pages in a book. 

I haven’t held a book and read in a long time.  I used to read 3 or 4 books a month growing up.  Now I listen to 1 -2 books a year on Audible because I am always running around.  I have to say it’s not the same half-listening to a book while waiting to order coffee at the drive thru.

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Books are like heaven to me!!

I didn’t buy any books that day as much as I wanted to, but something about that bookstore stirred a long dormant love of books.  I don’t know if I will ever own my own bookstore, but I will definitely be going back to the little community bookstore in Montclair because if I can walk into a space that brings me as much joy as it did that’s a place I need to frequent more often.

Thanks for stopping by lovies! PC|geri_1221   http://www.geritorres.com/

P.S. Here a list of some of my favorite books EVERRRR! (I hope you share yours with me too!)

  1. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
  2. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
  3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  4. Pillars of the Earth . by Ken Follet
  5. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (of Course!)
  6. Passing by Nella Larsen (A MUST READ!)
  7. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Marquez
  8. Counte of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
  9. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
  10. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

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♥LolaUncorked

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Why I decided to leave the classroom….

Hi my loves!  I am so excited to announce that I am officially leaving the classroom after almost 14 years!

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On my way to a new adventure…. PC | geri1221

I did it!  I am so excited to venture out into something new, though leaving my longest running job is bittersweet and scary.  Notice I called it a job,  not a career, because that’s really what it has become for me.  A job I had to go to so I can have an income and be an adult.

I was passionate and excited about teaching maybe 3 out of the 14 years I’ve done it. In the short time (and I say that in comparison to friends who have been teaching for over 20 years) the shift in education has been disheartening and disenfranchising.   

It seemed that every year there were new initiatives and mandates put into place by individuals so far removed from the classroom they wouldn’t survive a day. 

A profession that commanded the highest level of  respect back in the day has now placed teachers at the bottom of the societal totem pole.

Why did I stay so long? Well, #1 I racked up tons of student loans to pursue what I thought was a respectable and rewarding career.  And I needed to pay them off.  (Which I haven’t). #2 I was working on a pension and retirement.  And  #3, most importantly, because every year I really believed something would reignite in my soul and I would be like “Woohoooo!”  Sometimes it did, but that fire quickly simmered down to a dying ember.  Sad but true.  

I went back to school for two reasons: One my kids, my girls.  I kept saying how do I instill in them the importance of education if I hadn’t placed importance on it myself.      

The second reason is that while working at Montclair State University in their education center, this professor who later became my boss, mentor and friend, looked at me one day and said, “You HAVE to go back to school!  Let’s get you a PhD!”

Ha! Really???  I was just trying to wrap my mind around a bachelor’s degree.  Especially since at that point, I already had two kids and worked full-time.

That’s where it all started.  In retrospect, I really loved what I was already doing   supporting teacher candidates, graduate assistants, my boss and other faculty in the teacher education department.  But, I believed in order to be credible in the field of education, I had to get my teaching degree and get some experience in the trenches.  And boy did it feel like the trenches!   

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And who are the experts? The front line – teachers!

Little did I know that the disconnect between theory and practice is so wide that I could have totally stayed in my job and done an amazing job supporting others.

But we live and we learn.  Now thousands and thousands of student loans later,  I have eagerly decided to hang up my dry erase markers (yes, because I don’t even have a Smart Board this year) and leave the classroom.

I haven’t loved it in a very long time.  I’ve had moments of love and passion for sure, but those feelings were repeatedly squashed by over zealous administrators, red tape, favoritism, nepotism, sexism, to name a few.

Each September, I kept thinking:

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I’ve done a lot of thinking and praying about making a move….

“This year, I will feel completely supported and prepared to service my kids.”

“This will be the year that the powers-that-be finally decide to back off and just let me teach.”

“This will be the year where the assessment is aligned to the curriculum to the state standards to my students’ language levels and abilities and culture and backgrounds.”

That year never came.

And so I’ve decided to leave, not completely leaving the profession.  I will still be in an educational setting but working for a non-profit corporation that supports literacy practices in a public school setting.  I am EXCITED!

But I wanted to leave administrators, instructional coaches, superintendents, curriculum writers, parents and policy makers with this:

Before you criticize or demonize (as has happened to many of us) a teacher, think of the task you are asking teachers to take on – educator, mother, nurse, social worker, psychologist, interventionist, for pennies a day.

Before you jot down that 1 or 2 on a teacher’s observation report, because you as an administrator need to show data growth think about what that 1 or 2 does to your teacher’s motivation level and how that impacts his/her work in the classroom.

Before you go on your walk thrus change your mindset from a negative one to a postive one so you can catch all the good that is going on versus the one or two things that might be going wrong that day.

Before you give feedback to a teacher about what to make better, make sure its something that you yourself can go in there and model and do well.

Before any of you make another policy regarding children and schools, spend ONE day in a classroom where there are 25 1st graders some with classifications that are not being serviced, no books, no reading rug, no supplies, whose parents don’t speak the language or have limited education or work 15 hour days, where all the kids are on different academic and behavioral levels.  One day!  I can guarantee many wouldn’t last a half.

Listen, I am not asking for pity on teachers for the work they chose to do, what I am saying is to be a little more empathetic and thankful for the work teachers are doing day in and day out across the nation.

I don’t know what this new career will bring for me, but I can say that I was able to recognize that I could no longer go to a place where every morning it felt like a chore and every evening was filled with anxiety thinking of the next day. 

I recognized that I was doing my students and myself a huge disservice going there.

I have made some amazing friends and have met some amazing teachers doing amazing work despite all the people working against them and I wish them continued success.

I leave you with this thought: 

“I think that education in our country is going to self-combust and when the dust settles, my hope is that those “others” will finally let teachers teach.”

Thanks for stopping by.  Remember to like, comment, follow and share!

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LolaUncorked♥

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Thinking of Kyrzayda…

So you may all ask why am I blogging about Kyrzayda,  when I didn’t go to the wake. Well I have my reasons and my story.

I met Kyrzayda in 2009.  The Riverside Manor.  Paterson, NJ.  What I most remember is her perkiness and positive energy.   She always complimented me on my style. Ha!  I was ten years older and I dressed well but I wasn’t styled.  Not like her. 

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This is about the time that I met K.!

But we connected.  I remember one of the first conversations we had was about her wanting a boutique.  She loved fashion.  She loved clothes. She wanted to go places.  She wanted to do things. 

She was this petite bundle of energy with a beautiful smile and BIG, BIG, BIG dreams.  Now let me back track by saying that we were in the hood and this was way before fashion blogging and social media were anything familiar to many of us here, at least me.

Anyway, eventually I became a bartender at the Riverside and it was always refreshing to run into K (as I heard she was lovingly called by many).  She eventually started working at Once Upon A Skirt and she helped me choose outfits a few times.

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This is how I want to remember you!

Always had an eye and was always honest with me about what worked and didn’t. We talked about life and boys and fitness while I tried on outfit after outfit.

So, being a non-fashionista-wanting-to-have-my-own-boutique kind of person, when Kyrz started blowing up my FB thread with image after image of her fitness and fashion journey I unfollowed her.

For no other reason except that it would take me 3-5 minutes to get to any posts of family or other friends. Seriously.  (Not understanding that this is part of the business, right?) Building your brand.  

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Even while dealing with her health issues, she continued her hustle. One of my favorites!

Fast forward to last year when I believe it was that I saw www.liverpooljeans.com post something about her that I started following her again and learned of her diagnosis.

I began to follow her journey which now included cancer.

Some people may have loved her and some may not, but there is a lot to be learned from her journey.

I recently watched a Super Soul Sunday with Oprah featuring Dr. BJ Miller https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0TAs_QQKHM.  (If you guys haven’t heard his story, you should head over there and watch it.)

In a freak accident Dr. Miller lost both his legs below the knee and his arm.  Instead of feeling defeated, he decided to embark on a career in palliative care (caring for people who are dying) and now works with the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco.

That is neither here nor there.  What I want to share is that he says this of death: We view death as an occurrence separate from life, when in reality death is a part of living. Because we are all going to die at some point.

When we hear that someone is dying from some incurable disease, such as cancer, we automatically start viewing or treating that person as if they are already dead, when in reality, they are living to the moment of their last breath.

Kyrz was the epitome of this theory.  I mean a week before she passed she was “deciding” whether or not she would go to NY Fashion week and had her outfits laid out. 

This was a woman who was in so much pain, but still kept her faith and believed she would be there.  No she didn’t attend, but that’s beside the point folks.  Imagine the joy she felt just believing and imagining herself there.   

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Grace under fire…

The morning before I learned she had passed I watched an episode of Dr. Oz and his guest speaker, Dr. Sam Parnia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHcZc-JJEFw who conducted a research study on what happens when a person dies. Guys! It sounds morbid, but let me tell you, what a refreshing eye opener.

We fear death so much.  And we worry so much about the pain and suffering.  But this speaker explained what happens physiologically to our bodies right before we die.  The first thing is we start losing oxygen, when this happens we fall into a deep sleep – a coma.  He describes it as going under (anesthesia). 

He then said that of course your heart fails.  This is when doctors record a time of death.  BUT! you’re not yet done.  Your cells can take a few hours to shut down.

So it is in this space when your cells are still alive that near-death experiences occur. This is the time when people who have had this experience and come back describe a very blissful existence, they see the doctors working on them from above or a removed space, they see a flashback of their life.  They oftentimes don’t want to come back because it is such a beautiful feeling.

I know, I know ! Kyrz didn’t come back but what a relief to know that she was in this space of bliss and joy and comfort.

Listen, I lost touch with Kyrz however her journey touched me too.  I kept thinking and I have often said this to people like “we” could be her.  What happened to her can happen to any one of us.

As humans we question like “why?”.  “Why” .  She was in her prime.  Her blogging career was taking off.  “Why?”

We can be angry at God for taking her.  But I am a firm believer that though she served her “fashion and blogging” purpose here on earth, her death is meant to serve an even greater purpose.

That purpose is that she and her journey will hopefully teach people how to live! Now! because folks as we all know and say – “Life is entirely too short.”  And our time of death is pre-written and set in stone. But we forget quickly.

Kyrzayda’s journey left an indelible imprint on me.  I found myself constantly sending prayers for her, I started reading the bible in her name even bargaining with God to give her more time.  Lord, I’ll quit drinking, I’ll go to church, I’ll volunteer with the needy.  Anything to gain her more time.

It broke my heart to hear she passed, but it also cheered me (after hearing these podcasts) that her transition was easy, and pain-free and joyous.

I chose not to go to the wake because #1 I am way too emotional and didn’t want to be that person in hysterics and #2 I wanted to hold with me the memory of Kyrzayda as I knew her back in 2009.

AND #3 I had a dream with her the night she passed.   Random, right?

I dreamt we were in this outdoor space like a vineyard or some kind of outdoor courtyard.  We were talking and laughing and she had on this flowered two piece flowy pant suit.  She kept saying she wanted to go down to beach and so she went.

I didn’t follow because I felt like she was happy and she was joyous and ok.  So she went down this staircase filled with flowers and gone. 

I woke with this sense of “Oh! She’s fine!”  Kyrzayda is good.

Kyrzayda did what most people wouldn’t dare do and even if some do not agree with her decisions or her way of living – who fucking cares?!?!

What we should be focusing on is how we are going to live.

We shouldn’t be questioning God or the Universe or whoever we believe in “Why her?” or “Why did this happen?”

We should be asking, “What have we learned?” What has she taught us?” “How are we going to live OUR lives NOW?”

Hey we could even ask: WWKD? “What would Kyrzayda do?” 

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Continued to work, blog, shop, post..

I am not concerned with K now and where she is because I know she is fantastically and amazingly and joyously existing in another space. Happy, pain-free, resting.

I just ask the Universe to comfort her mother, her family and her friends in this difficult time.

And more importantly, I pray that we figure out “Why?” not for Kyrzayda but for ourselves and how is having known Kyrzayda going to fundamentally push us to not be left with the question “Why?” at the end of our lives.

Kyrzayda, may you rest in eternal peace and may the Lord grant your mother and family the most comfort at this time.

It was a pleasure knowing you doll! 

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She did more than most … without fear!

LolaUncorked♥

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This is 40….Something…

Hey guys and gals! You know how I do!!! I don’t post for a few weeks and then I bombard you with posts.

This past week I had the pleasure of collaborating with the young, handsome and up and rising, YouTuber – bello_kevy! Finally!  Please go subscribe and follow.  Plug Plug!

Anyway, I was doubtful if it would turn out good.  Shame on me because all his other videos are A-mazing!  Anyway, we decided last minute to head over to Martell’s Tiki Bar and do a little video blogging about life in my 40s.  His mom, my BFF, joined us!  I’ll make sure to add link below so you guys can go check it out.

40 is what you make it !

I have to say that Kevin had some great questions and I sense a follow up video because there are so many things we can talk about as far as life in our 40s.  He wanted to call it “This is 40!” Considering I will be exiting this decade soon, I suggested “This is 40-something!” but you know kids. LOL.

Anyway regardless, he asked some insightful questions which is inspiring to me as an adult to hear this from a young man in his 20s.  We talked about what 40 means to us, aging (gracefully), the downsides of life changes, and how we party in our 40s. Oh! we also highlight my new boobs! LOL. Thanks Kevin for the boob plug.

Go subscribe to Bello_kevy YouTube channel! NOW!

So I felt I wanted to come and blog about this and add some lessons I’ve learned in my 40s with you all and hopefully you guys will share with me too.  I think in every decade we learn stuff.  Sometimes we repeat the same mistakes, but my hope is that as we age, we learn and grow and spread our emotional, spiritual wings.

So what has 40 meant to me?

Here goes. Me and my lists.

  1. 40 to me means that I have finally settled into myself and my own skin.  I feel like the dust has settled — in my professional life, personal life and spiritual life.What did I learn in my 40s?
  2. 40 has meant becoming freer and liberated from all the bullshit society says I should be doing and being.
  3. 40 has meant that it really is just a number.  I have felt just a young spirited and energetic as I did in my 20s and 30s.  Hangovers suck at 40.  Takes longer to recuperate but overall, I kind of feel the same.
  4. 40 has meant finding my voice.  Not the young aggressive angry voice of my 20s and 30s, but a calmer, more confident voice.  I learned how to express myself without being angry, and learned that you get so much more with honey.  Finally.  Of course, not all the time.  Every now and then the only voice that works is the bitch voice! So I keep her on reserve.
  5. 40 has meant not giving up on myself.  Being more forgiving of myself.  More loving.  Kinder to me.

And what did I learn? In my 40s, I have learned…

  • to accept that I am not ONE thing.  I am not just a mother, or daughter, or teacher. I am not just a woman or Latina.  None of these define me on their own, but rather all the roles I play make up who I am as a person.  I’ve also realized that I am always evolving.  Who I am today is not who I will be next month or next year, or even tomorrow.  And that’s ok.
  • not to settle in any area of my life, especially relationships.  I deserve the best from people, just as I have learned to wake up everyday with the intention of giving my best.  Yes, sometimes I fall of the wagon, because we are not perfect, but I get right back up and try again.
  • I am not perfect, but I can make daily intentions to strive to be better.
  • Broken hearts heal and you come out stronger.  I have never felt such pain like the pain I felt in this decade after having my heart broken by the one person I never thought would deceive me.  It hurt like hell.  And I remember thinking I would never be good again, whole again, confident again.  Guess what? I’m good.  Time heals E V E R Y T H I N G! Family and friends help too!
  • Forgive others.  Hanging on to anger and hate is so draining and damaging only to yourself.  So forgive and let go and move on.

My 40s have been good to me!  Through it all, trials and tribulations, financial woes, breakups, illnesses, I can’t complain.

40/40 Club

I still have half a year to go in my 40s, so I am sure there will be more lessons to be learned before I exit this decade.

But I have to tell you, if any of you are approaching 40 and/or sad about aging, don’t be.  I honestly believe that life only gets better!!!  I am so looking forward to what 50 brings!!!

Like promised here is my first video collaboration with YouTuber bello_kevy! Make sure to go show him some love too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VjXx-f-vSY&t=0s

Thanks for stopping by loves!

♥LolaUncorked❤️

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We are raising (insert 8 letter word – starts with A and has two Ss)…

Disclaimer: As you will be able to tell this blog was written on Friday.  Due to my daughter’s baby shower it just sat waiting to be revised. Hence, the Happy F-ing Friday! LOL

This week I was completely enchanted (good word) when:

  1. I walked into a bar and someone who follows my blog came up to me and was like “What the hell?!?! You haven’t posted a blog since May 10!!” It was May 15th.  She continued on to say that she went onto the blog at work looking forward to a new post and was totally disappointed not to find one. (Insert tear here).

   MY blog guys!  She looked forward to MY blog.  I feel like this officially makes me a     blogger!!!!blogger

2. I was speaking with a co-worker who I invited to read my blog back when I started.  She never mentioned it.  After a seriously rough day at work (I recognize I am blessed, but still it was rough) she said, “OMG, Ms. Formentin!” She still calls me that making me feel all old and shit.

Anyway, she was like “I have been reading and following your blog and I love it!

“I especially like the one about the guy with the socks.” LOL.  She said it is so relatable and “I love how you express yourself.”  (insert second tear here)

Both of these made my day and it reminded me that I need to be more consistent with my blog.  And so here I am!  Because it really is all about connecting with people.  The images, the followers, the comments – THOSE are all secondary, maybe even third on the list of why and how I want to grow this thing.

Anyway, so here I am!  Happy FUCKIN Friday!  Yes, HAPPY FUCKIN Friday! What a week!!

I need to talk to you guys about our kids! Kids growing up now. Little boys and girls. The little monsters that we are creating!

As you all know I am educator.  I am in my 13th year of teaching.  Three years longer than I originally anticipated.

I’ve taught 1st, 3rd, 4th and 5th grades.

I’ve taught in urban and suburban schools.

Over the span of my thirteen years in teaching, I have witnessed what I describe as an epidemic decline in the integrity of our children.  This is manifesting itself as a severe lack of empathy for others. I know I sound dramatic, but that’s because this current situation is serious.

Every year, educators all over the world, face behavioral challenges in their classroom.  Author included.  However, I have never experienced some of the issues like the ones this year.  Challenges is definitely an understatement.

These kids are downright rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate and mean.  BULLIES!!! (Another disclaimer: Not all of them.  A select few.) .

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There’s actually a book about it!

They have no fear of authority.  They talk back.  The mock.  They mimic.  They hit.  They gossip.  They walk out of classrooms.  Talk about teachers to their face.   They want to have the last word.

OMG! I am a grown ass woman and let me tell you I still fear my mom.  These kids do not care.  And they will tell you.

  • I don’t care about my grades.
  • I do it because I want to.
  • I do it because I can.
  • She’s so annoying and ugly. (Talking about a sub)
  • You’re a ________________ (insert N word here). (Yes, the “N” word!!! At the 4th grade level.)
  • This is boring.
  • I just want to go home.

The responses run the gamut.  I’ll tell you what, had I ever responded this way to any adult and it got back to my mom, you best believe I would not be here today.  Back then it was a community affair – that saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” village.jpeg

My brothers grew up in the Dominican Republic.  I remember one time they were acting up on the way home – I don’t know what.  But I do remember that by the time they got home, my uncle had heard about it and he took a branch right to them in the alleyway.  Yup.  Community affair.

The crazy thing is I can’t even blame the kids today because as we all know this is LEARNED behavior.  Kids are born with a clean slate.  Yes, some traits are inherited but we also know most traits are learned.

Who are the real culprits here? Parents!  Parents in combination with technology are single- handedly ruining this generation of children.  And I believe it is going to get worse before it gets better.

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Put the technology down and TALK to your kid!

As parents we are so wrapped up in whatever it is we wrap ourselves up in – careers, fitness, homes, making money, travel, socializing – that we forget that our single most important job is – OUR KIDS!  If you’ve been blessed to have them.  Raising them, loving them, protecting them.

Clothing and putting a roof over their heads does not make us parents.  Loving alone  does not make us parents.  Making sure our kids go to school does not make us parents.

Parenting involves talking to our kids and engaging in conversation.  Listening attentively without the phone in our hand.  Being present.  Listening to both the spoken and unspoken words.   Modeling behavior like speaking properly, helping the elderly, volunteering, kindness, dressing age appropriately. The list is endless.

We think that because kids are absorbed in their technology that they are not paying attention to us, when in reality, I feel like they are way more aware.  It’s like the brain is soaking up the conversations around them and being filed for later use.

Have you ever had a conversation with let’s say your best friends while your child is playing on an iPad or smart phone nearby?  You think your kid is completely absorbed paying you no mind.

A few weeks later your kid will ask something like, “Who got arrested?” or “Oh, like daddy’s friend who went to jail?” You’re like mouth-wide-open because you swore at the time he wasn’t paying attention.

THIS IS TRUE STORY.  My grandson Max did this.  He will bring things up a week or two later that he subconsciously listened to and stored.

It’s the same thing with behavior.  You may think that when you are cursing out the salesperson because they were rude or disrespectful or just having a bad day, that you’re teaching your kid to defend himself, when what you’re actually modeling is to be rude and disrespectful.  If you’re not explaining why you are doing what you’re doing, and this is your pattern, it becomes their pattern.  kidadults

What do you think happens when you call that kid’s teacher and lie that the child was sick and that’s why he didn’t finish his work?  But in reality he was fine.  The child learns to lie, to make excuses, to not take responsibility for anything because his parents got his back.

Your children spend a good portion of their day in the classroom with teachers, other adults and other kids.

There is nothing uglier to me than that kid that E V E R Y O N E knows because of his shitty behavior.  Parents THIS is NOT cute.  Start modeling the behavior that you want to see.  You want an honest child, don’t lie.  You want chivalrous young men, open doors.  You want a classy daughter, don’t be twerking and then posting that shyt on social media. PARENTS BE WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE

Look I am not and haven’t been a perfect parent.  We all make mistakes. But as we grow older and we see this overwhelming inundation of technology and the effects it is having on our children, we need to be more mindful of the things we say and do in front of our children.

Because once that foundation is rooted, it becomes twice as difficult to undo.

Just don’t be the parent with the a*@hole kid!

This is one of my favorite quotes about kids! We have no idea how we damage our kids…

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.”
― Mitch AlbomThe Five People You Meet in Heaven  

LolaUncorked♥