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It is okay to be afraid and anxious…just don’t sit in those emotions for too long.

Hi my loves!

I hope you are all safe and healthy.  Been thinking about what I wanted to write about today. I kept telling myself I wanted to write about something light and funny in the midst of this new reality we are living.

Every time I got an idea and would start to type, my thoughts kept going back to COVID19. I finally gave up and stared at my computer screen. And sat and stared. And I literally heard a voice say, “Write about what you’re feeling because you are not alone.”

And, so I started typing.

Let me go back a bit. A few weeks ago, I was celebrating my birthday in Miami. This is about the time I started to pay a little attention to the news. In my defense, don’t have cable at home, so most of my news comes from social media, 1010 Wins, and friends.

Anyway, I remember in the airport, my best friend pulled out two surgical masks. I was like “Heck no, girl you crazy!!” And laughed as I joked around about how silly we would look. I even took a picture of us in the airplane but it was more of photo op for IG. I also have to say that I probably counted about five other travelers with masks, only one actually covering their face.

While in Miami, my girlfriend who is a nurse (God bless her soul) kept talking about the coronavirus in very serious tones. As serious as you can be while drinking right? Anyway, she kept saying that this virus scared her, that it was going to do a lot of damage.

She kept saying things like, “As of Monday, we will all be zombies.” I was like, “Ok Rick!” (Shout out to TWD fans!!!). But really, I didn’t even take her seriously because I just felt like the news kept saying this was just a different strain of the flu with no vaccine.

I was back at work on March 4 and suddenly I was being bombarded by news out of Italy and Europe and the numbers of cases and/or deaths. My ears perked up, but I can’t say I was worried yet. As is the norm for me, I was still celebrating my birthday (which is a month-long event). I was looking forward to Friday the 13th to meet up with friends at our local bar to continue the celebrations.

And this is where I think I started to feel a little rise of panic in my chest. That night, that Friday night, the bar which is typically crowded with diners, drinkers, and karaokers every week was eerily empty.

There were about 20 of us in there including the employees. Very few people were singing. I was kind of like oh, ok. What’s happening? That Sunday evening, we received the email that the school I worked in was closed until the end of the month. It felt so surreal, like what do you mean schools are closed. As I watched the news that Sunday more and more districts shut down. That was my first panic attack.

Since then I’ve been social distancing and isolated at home for 15 days with my 20 year old. Rough! Friday, I got laid off from my job and that was my second meltdown. I wanted to take a xany and sleep and wake up to find out this is all just a bad dream. As we all know it’s not.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve had three anxiety attacks, usually at night, when I start to pray for all the people I kept hearing about that are testing positive and/or very sick. Friends I was working with before the shutdown.

Initially I tried to not give into these episodes, I thought I was being ungrateful by having meltdowns and wanting to not deal with this considering I am still healthy and able to collect unemployment. But I found that when I resisted, the anxious feelings, the panic, the fear lingered. It immobilized me. It kept me on the couch, drinking wine, or napping. It kept me from wanting to pull myself together.

And then I thought, wait why can’t I just have my meltdown? Why can’t I give in to the panic and the anxiety? Why can’t I be scared at times? Why can’t I cry and scream? We are entitled to being scared, anxious, confused during these crazy times.

What we are not entitled to do is to sit in that fear or anxiety for too long. So, when I feel an attack, I cry, I get mad, I question why, why, why? And then it’s over I pray, and meditate and I give thanks for all that I have. If none of that works I medicate. And then I’m fine.

I started to think about things I could do to make my days more productive and keep those anxious feelings at bay. I had to be proactive. So, I created a schedule for myself to stay focused and productive. I make sure I exercise every day, whether it’s a short workout from IG or a walk if it’s nice out. I am meditating more. Eckhart Tolle https://eckharttolle.com/free-resources/ has a ton of free guided meditations on his page. I am also doing a 21 day meditation which I started late with Oprah and Deepak Chopra https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience.  I am journaling. I’ve been going through paperwork, drawers and closets. I am constantly cleaning and decluttering. I have magazines, books and Netflix.

Are there days that I just want to lay on the couch and do absolutely nothing? Yup! And guess what? I do it. And then I buckle back up. And get back to tackling my to do list.

It’s easy to get in a state of panic and stay there, but what good will that do? It’s easy to allow this new normal to become our permanent normal. But the reality is I am looking at this as an opportunity for transformation-physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

I am not saying I will not have any more panic attacks and that I won’t have moments of being really scared, but what I won’t allow myself is to live in that space too long. Because if we come out of this the same as we went into it, then shame on us for not taking advantage of this blessing and opportunity.

Thank you for stopping by!

LolaUncorked♥

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How to get started….tackling the new year…

Hi Loves!

Can you believe that January is almost over?  Sheesh! Where does the time go? Anyway, just wanted to check in and see how the new year is treating you all so far.  How are those intentions, or resolutions going? Did you get started? If not, what’s holding you back?

This is the first year that I finally feel like I am being a little more reasonable about the things I want to accomplish. newyear

Typically, and you guys know how it goes;  we want to do it ALL in the new year.  Get up early, go to gym every day, read, meditate, meal prep,  declutter, stay organized,  etc, etc, etc.  And of course by week 2 it’s down the drain, because quite frankly it is overwhelming. And way too much to tackle all at once.

I mean thinking on previous years and thinking of how quickly I gave up, it’s no wonder.   There aren’t even enough hours in the day to do it all.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I decided to set daily intentions (rather than make intentionsresolutions) and take small bites in order to accomplish what I would like in this new year. I’ve also made it a point to be kinder to myself when I don’t come through on those intentions.  Sometimes, actually, most times we are too hard on ourselves.

Like think about it, if a friend came to you bummed out because after dieting for a few weeks they haven’t lost any weight or they went out and stuffed their faces with the best pasta ever!  You don’t turn around and say,

“OMG! You’re such a fat-ass!  You’re never going to lose weight eating like that!”

(At least, I hope you don’t say that!! LOL). Chances are you may say something like,

“Listen it’s ok.  Just start right back up again.” or “You deserved that meal, you’ve been great so far!”

Right?!?  So why can’t we do the same for ourselves?  Kind self-talk and forgiveness go such a long way.

So I wanted to share some tips that are helping me tackle those bigger goals for this new year without feeling defeated.

  1. Organization – I need structure and visuals to help me so the first thing I did was purchase a really cool dry erase wall calendar (from Burlington Coat Factory for a mere $14.99).  It sits on the first wall that I see on the way to the bathroom in the morning.  I also added a small dry erase board next to it.  The calendar is a snapshot of my month.  I write everything there, when I go to gym, work schedule, appointments, birthdays.
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    Got this bad boy at Burlington Coat Factory

    On the dry erase board, I write three things I am grateful for each day and a daily mantra or intention.  I get to see those several times as I walk back and forth and get ready in the morning.  I also picked up a cute planner by Create & Cultivate (from Target) in which I can jot down my To Dos List, my mantra (again), see my month and week at a glance, create vision boards, etc.  I found that I had too many tools and wasn’t using any of them.  For some people technology works best so they use their phones, I need pencil and paper.

  2. In the self care department its as simple as applying a facial mask a week and sitting in silence while I wait rather than trying to clean the kitchen or bathroom.  I mean the cleaning defeats the self care, right?  So pick up some facial mask sheets (so easy) and set a day of the week for when you’re going to do it (on your wall calendar or in agenda).  Self care also includes going for a mani and/or pedi, taking a nap once a week, going to therapy.  Pick one and and stick to it!
  3. For my fitness goals I am committing to doing something physical for at least 30 minutes a day to begin.   That could be the gym, yoga, or some sort of a fitness challenge (there are tons on Pinterest that can be printed and posted where you will see first thing in the morning.)
  4. Finally, I chose one HUGE goal for myself in 2020-2021.  I want to get my yoga  certification.  I’ve been toying with yoga for a while now and I would love to teach it.  The challenge is that the yoga certification program here in the US is long and requires a huge time commitment.  Because I know myself and how easily livingyouryogadistracted I am my plan is to go complete the certification abroad somewhere.  Some of the programs I am looking at are in Tulum, Costa Rica and Bali.  The program itself is less expensive than here, but I do have to incur the cost of housing while there, but for as little as two weeks!  Winning.  In preparation for that I have committed to starting with minimum of two classes a week and and reading a related book a month (currently reading Living Your Yoga by Judith Hanson Lasater) .  Definitely manageable, more than trying to get to hot yoga 5 – 6 times week, like I’ve tried in the past.
  5. Most importantly, you can have a huge vision for 2020, just tackle it one week at a time.

And that’s it for now.  It’s what I feel is manageable for ME.  It could be that you may be able to take on more or less at the beginning of the year. And that’s fine.  For me, I rather start small and build up as the year progresses and as my level of commitment increases.  Rather than start big and then drop everything because I just can’t keep up.

And well, when I stumble and fall, I dust myself off and start anew, because in the end 25-never-give-up-quotes1it’s not quantity that counts it’s actually quality.  So if I can do a 30 minute yoga session at home, in which I am totally present, instead of a 90 minute hot yoga session in a studio that is so hot I can’t think of anything but it being over, then the 30 minute it is.

Well, my loves I hope this helps and I hope as we wrap up January, you continue to stay strong, adjust and readjust if needed and keep getting back up on that wagon!

Thanks for stopping by!  Remember to like, comment (my fave), and share!!!

LolaUncorked♥