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50 Things I Want To Do In My 50s

old-ageHi, Loves!

So as you all know I am turning 50 in about a week.  That’s a big one. It actually seems surreal.

You know how people often say, “Oh you don’t look like you’re 30, 40 or 50!” Like what exactly does any age look like? I am not sure what 50 should look or feel like.  I guess it feels exactly how I feel right now.

And I feel pretty awesome.  In a great place.  I love my job.  I have an amazing family.  A nice circle of friends.  I have health most importantly, but I feel like, and maybe some of you guy feel same- I feel like there are so many things I haven’t done. So I have compiled a list of things I want to do this year, experiences I want to have, places I want to go.

I’ve been really thinking about things I’ve always wanted to do and have not done yet. So in commemoration of my blogs one year anniversary – here is my list of  50 things I want to do in my 50s. (And these are not in any particular order of importance.)

  1. Do more yoga. Like aside from the physical I would like to know yoga with my yogaspirit.
  2. Go to Maine and eat lobster.
  3. Move to a nicer, bigger place. Maybe even become a homeowner.
  4. Skydive, though I don’t know if I’ll actually do it.
  5. Go to Europe, I’ve never been.
  6. Blog more.  At least once a week. Really grow my blog and hopefully do some influencing.
  7. Write. Start writing that book. About what? I’m not sure yet.
  8. Probably take some writing lessons in order to write that book.
  9. Run a marathon.
  10. Sell at least 5 homes this year.
  11. Go visit Graceland. I am a huge Elvis fan.
  12. Become debt free.
  13. Go on a family vacation with my girls and grandkids – something as simple as the shore.
  14. Volunteer more.
  15. Take a road trip cross country.
  16. Meditate more.
  17. Create a meditating space at home.
  18. Find a Buddhist temple near me and engage in some learning.
  19. Read more books- hard copies!
  20. Spend more time with my mom. Create some kind of a tradition/ritual with her.
  21. Journal EVERYDAY.
  22. Write a letter to Oprah. Don’t ask. Hopefully get a response.
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    Self-care is most important in my 50s.
  23. More self-care things like monthly massages and/or facials.
  24. Grow my hair and possibly let it gray naturally.
  25. Declutter. Really live minimally.
  26. See my dad more often.
  27. Learn some basic photography.
  28. Start a Vlog
  29. Send birthday cards to people instead of a social media post.
  30. Work out at least 5 times a week
  31. Move away from Facebook.
  32. Speak more Spanish to my grandbabies.
  33. Maybe learn another language – I love Portuguese, BUT I know some Italian, sooo maybe.
  34. Apply to be on a game show – I’ve done this several times (never made it) – the freaking application for Wheel of Fortune is insane.
  35. Play in the rain/mud.
  36. Spend more time down the shore
  37. Live a healthier lifestyle overall
  38. Learn how to swim finally!
  39. Quit drinking alcohol.
  40. Go parasailing.
  41. Take tango lessons.
  42. Create a daily practice of journaling, meditating, exercising, and eating healthy.
  43. Be kinder to people – smile more (guilty of RBF). LOL!
  44. Build my family tree (I did my DNA and it was sooo interesting).
  45. Go ziplining again – IT was amazing.
  46. Visit an ashram.
  47. Visit more bookstores.
  48. Celebrate NYE on an island somewhere.

Isn’t this list amazing?  Now listen, clearly I can’t do all of this in ONE year, but you best believe I am starting.

I will reflect on this list throughout this year and make sure I am making moves to check off these 50 items off my bucket list in my 50s.

What’s on your list of things to do?  You don’t have to wait until your 30, 40 or 50 to start your list and to start checking off those things that stir your soul.

Life is so short and in my almost 50 years, I’ve seen how quickly a life is snuffed out whether to disease or accident.  I have been blessed thus far and I’ve done a lot, but there is more I want to do and plan to do!

Someone I knew once said, “Don’t wait for another day or another hour or another time.  Go and Do It. Now” – Kyrzayda –

So just watch me guys!  Here’s to 50!

Happy birthday to me!

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Cheers to me!

Thanks for stopping by and reading.  Make sure to like, comment, share and follow!

LolaUncorked♥

 

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Get out of your own way!

Hi loves!  It has been so long since I’ve been on here. But I’m back to school and also transitioning to a new job, redecorating apartment.  Anywayssssss, I have been thinking a lot about this idea of self-sabotaging behavior.   sabotagequote

As much as I haven’t wanted to see it, even after years of therapy I have come to the conclusion that I am a professional self-sabotager – AND I need more therapy!!!! LOL. Someone call the doctor!!!

I hear my friends complain all the time (and I chime in) about a perfectly great job or relationship.  About Not making enough money, etc. But they complain almost with relish! This is how the online dictionary defines self-sabotage

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastinationself-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting.

This is concise and to the point, however, we all know there are endless ways in which we self-sabotage.   We self-sabotage our relationships, our jobs, our diets, our future goals. Why???

I can come up with several reasons for each of these, but I am going to focus on relationships for now.  Way more fun! How many times have you heard people make some of the following statements when it comes to dating or relationships?-

  • I am meant to be alone.
  • I don’t mind ending up alone.
  • Who wants to put up with someone else’s bad habits.
  • I am too old for this shit.
  • I am just waiting for red flags.
  • I’ve already been married and divorced, who wants to go through that shit again.
  • There are no good men or women out there.

These are only a few of the comments I hear from my girlfriends and that I myself have let slip through these lips.

Self-sabotaging our relationships is how we protect ourselves and our hearts.  When my last relationship ended, I told myself I would NEVER get serious about anyone again. I would live with them, much less get married! I would never give someone that much power over my emotions.  NEVER!  selfsabotage3.png

I wrapped myself up quite tightly in my circle of friends, family, shopping, eating, drinking, the gym, and a part-time job.  I had no time TO date, let alone get serious.  This was exactly how I liked it. 

When I did date, I subconsciously or consciously (depends on the day) chose unavailable men who were in complicated situations.  This did two things for me.  It validated the idea that there are no good men or women out there. The minute I felt anyone getting close, or wanting more, I was like BOY BYE!

Why do we self-sabotage??? For many reasons.

We self-sabotage because we feel unworthy and undeserving of all wonderful things, whether it’s a great job, relationship or financial abundance.

If we feel unworthy how can we open ourselves up to believing that we are good enough to receive a great partner.  We believe if we let someone get too close, they will see all our glorious imperfections and run the other way.  And guess what?  They may.  But that only means he or she wasn’t the one.  That you weren’t compatible, not that you weren’t worthy.

We self sabotage because we are afraid of being dumped.  selfsabotage2

If there is one thing we can’t deal with is rejection.  We take someone’s rejection so personal.  Could it be possible that the other person just wasn’t ready for a relationship? Or that perhaps they just had their own stuff they were dealing with? 

When someone rejects us it doesn’t mean we are unlovable, it just means, they weren’t ready to love anyone and that perhaps they felt unworthy themselves.

We self sabotage because we like drama!! This is huge.

When we are not fulfilled with our lives, maybe a boring job, or no social life, we like to create drama. 

Sometimes we just want a little excitement or we want to push buttons to try to get assurance or confirmation that he or she is really into us.

Here’s a great scenario and I am sooooo guilty of this (I have to laugh..LOL)

Me: (I text him): Hey.

Him: 

Him:

(5 minutes later)

Me: You ok?

Him:

Me: (Fuck this shit! Then I proceed to type some of these or all of these depending on the level of self sabotaging I am going for) You know what? I am not into playing games.  If you want to play games go right ahead. But I am too old for that shit.  I need consistency. Go play with your little bimbos. Don’t ever text me again.

Him: I was at a funeral.

Me: (cricket, cricket, cricket)

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These memes, tho! LOL!

Now tell me who hasn’t done this ↑? More than once? Twice? Repeatedly? We are all guilty of this. 

Right away our brain goes into defensive mode. He’s probably with someone else.  Which means he’s not into me. Which means, I knew it. Which means, let me cut him off before he cuts me off. Sheesh!  I would dump me too after one of those scenarios.

We selfsabotage because in todays age of technology IT IS SO MUCH easier to do.  Cell phones and social media support and enhance our self sabotaging ways.  

We say and post things on social media and through texting that we probably would never say face to face.  It’s quick, it’s instant and it’s cowardly.

How do we stop this behavior? 

These are only suggestions understanding that these are practices that with repeated implementation will be become habits!

  • Love and accept yourself.  Just as you are. With all your flaws and imperfections love yourself, because if you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else?
  • Remind yourself every day that you are worthy and that it‘s okay to mess up.  We all do we just have to recognize the mistake and do better next time. Grow from the mistake.
  • Know that there is enough of everything to go around.  Enough good men and women who want loving healthy relationships, enough money to give us financial security, enough great jobs so we can find THE ONE! lifetip
  • And finally, THIS IS SO IMPORTANT, give yourself a 10 minute time out before you react or say things that you will probably regret.  I find that after 10 minutes I am no longer upset about whatever assumptions I made up in my head about why someone is not returning my text. Put the phone away and take a nap or read a magazine, or even my blog. LOL.  Then go back and construct a kinder softer message, kind of like, “Hey not sure where you are, but I hope all is good.  Text me when you can.”

Listen, in theory this all sounds so easy.  It may strike a nerve for some and for others give rise to a chuckle, but the reality is that we all deserve to be in a loving, healthy relationship if that’s what we really desire.  And when one falls apart, it means nothing more than, it wasn’t time.  Your time will come.  Our time will come.

Thanks for stopping by my loves!  Happy Friday!

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♥LolaUncorked